Losing a loved one can make you yourself feel lost. Experiencing such a profound loss not only impacts us emotionally but physically as well (Casarett, Kutner, & Abrahm, 2001). The response to losing a loved one is what we know as grief.
Grief is of course not limited to the death of a loved one. Any loss can cause grief, such as:
Divorce or relationship breakup
Loss of health
Losing a job
Loss of financial stability
A miscarriage
Death of a pet
A loved one’s serious illness
Loss of a friendship
You need never feel ashamed of how you react to loss. Fortunately, there are healthy ways to cope with the feelings that come with grief.
Photo by Toimetaja Tolkeburoo on Unsplash
Turn to friends or family members.
Something that I’ve learned in my own grief journey is how important it is for me to talk about my loved ones that I’ve lost. I don’t want people to be afraid to bring them up. It’s helpful to hear memories of the one(s) you’ve lost. Confiding in and discussing with friends and family who knew your loved one can help you remember the positives, and honor their legacy. Furthermore, telling the story of your loved one in a variety of ways can help you to cope with the loss, and find healing and meaning as you work to make sense of the loss and ensuing grief (Bosticco, & Thompson, 2005).
Find comfort in your faith.
Faith can keep you grounded when life feels chaotic and out of your control. Additionally, having some belief about what happens to us after we die can provide comfort and hope when we experience a deep loss. Research shows that “People who profess stronger spiritual beliefs seem to resolve their grief more rapidly and completely after the death of a close person than do people with no spiritual beliefs” (Walsh, King, Jones, Tookman, & Blizard, 2002). This is not to say that if you do not have spiritual beliefs that you need to find some during bereavement. Rather, if you had spiritual beliefs prior to your loss, it’s helpful to lean onto your faith during the grieving period.
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Talk to a therapist or grief counselor.
Mental health professionals receive thousands of hours of schooling and hands-on training to help people cope with the fear, guilt, anxiety, and other difficult feelings that come with loss. Grief counseling, in particular, has been shown to be just as effective as other forms of counseling and psychotherapy (Larson, & Hoyt, 2007), and you may find that a therapist who has been specifically trained in dealing with grief is the best equipped to help you work through yours. Because everyone’s grief journey is different, it’s best to consider your options and see what works for you. Be patient with yourself and others as you find your own path to healing. Maybe therapy isn’t the best way for you to cope and feel. Maybe you need to be alone, maybe you need to be with friends. Surviving grief can be a trial-and-error process, and it may take time to find what works for you.
Thoughts on Time
Here’s the bad news: time does not heal all wounds. At least not completely. Time merely provides the means by which you become used to your new life. Maybe your boyfriend of two weeks dumped you or maybe your sister died. Maybe you gave a child up for adoption or maybe you dropped an ice cream cone. More often than not, time will not erase your feelings of loss and emptiness. It just gets you used to living with those things and finding a way to endure despite them. It helps you get out of bed every day, even when you’re in pain. It helps you put a bandaid on your soul, but the scar is still there. It helps you find your new “normal.”
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The good news? Time can still be your friend. Time can help you hear a song your sister used to blast in the car and not have a complete and total mental breakdown. Time can help you to not have to take the day off of work when her death anniversary rolls around. Time can help you to smile when an old truck drives by, reminding you of the one your dad taught you how to drive. Don’t get me wrong: the pain is still there. It always will be. Slowly but surely, however, you’ll get used to your new normal. You may have lost something, but you’re still here.
For those already struggling with their mental health, facing grief on top of that can seem unbearable. Time is not going to solve your problems. Good people, finding hope in a Higher Power, therapy, and laughter will help you get closer to healing. You are here on this earth. Learn, grow, and love. Your heart will always have something missing, but your life can still be full.
If you are currently dealing with loss, reach out to a loved one who can remember with you.
Not currently dealing with loss yourself? Reach out to someone who is, and share your love! We all need each other.
References
Bosticco, C., & Thompson, T. L. (2005). Narratives and Story Telling in Coping with Grief and Bereavement. OMEGA – Journal of Death and Dying,51(1), 1-16. https://doi.org/10.2190/8tnx-leby-5ejy-b0h6
Casarett, D., Kutner, J. S., & Abrahm, J. (2001). Life after death: a practical approach to grief and bereavement. Annals of internal medicine, 134(3), 208-215.
Larson, D. G., & Hoyt, W. T. (2007). What has become of grief counseling? An evaluation of the empirical foundations of the new pessimism. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 38(4), 347–355. https://doi.org/10.1037/0735-7028.38.4.347
Smith, M., & Robinson, L. (2019, November). Coping with Grief and Loss. Retrieved May 9, 2020, from https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm
Walsh, K., King, M., Jones, L., Tookman, A., & Blizard, R. (2002). Spiritual beliefs may affect outcome of bereavement: prospective study. BMJ (Clinical research ed.), 324(7353), 1551. https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj.324.7353.1551
McKay Strong is from Texas. She graduated from Brigham Young University with a Bachelor of Science in Family Life. A super experienced wife of a year, McKay works full-time at a local nonprofit and has more side hustles than she should (she still doesn’t know what she’s doing with her life). She is a proud Ravenclaw and an even more proud cat mom. McKay is passionate about self-love, body positivity, healthy sexuality, and breaking the stigma against mental illnesses. Also, Harry Potter.
But not everyone loves it. I will admit – at first, I didn’t. Richard and I have had to establish boundaries.
Our jobs are fulfilling and remarkable. We work in different places on our campus, so we see each other only here and there throughout the day. Because we work in a social science field, with adolescents with a variety of diagnoses, strengths, and weaknesses, it is difficult not to take work home. We build relationships with all of these incredible teenagers (yes, we like moody teenagers; shocking, I know) and it is hard to leave that behind when we get home.
Whether you work together or apart, it is important to balance the two and make opportunities for clear couple time as well as debriefing and self care to recover after a hard day at work.
Boundaries Matter!
Richard and I have set specific boundaries. Our boundaries for balancing work may look different than the boundaries that work for others, but after research, classes, and trial and error, we have developed a plan that works.
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Richard joined the company I work at over a year after I had been working there. I was nervous that, instead of acting like my co-worker, Richard would be my husband and try to rescue me when I was trying to work with an angry student. I admit that the fiercely stubborn and independent part of me did not want my husband coming and taking over my turf. We both have strong personalities, and I didn’t want all my hard work to be diminished by the amazing work my husband does. So what did I do?
I communicated.
Communication is Key.
No matter what boundaries you establish to keep your relationship stable and a safe haven after a long day of work, communication is essential.
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Communicating my fears and stresses to my husband helped us define areas where we needed to establish boundaries. And since we have begun working together, we continue to communicate. It is not a one time conversation. We have frequent conversations as new situations come up.
When we get home from work, we communicate about our emotional state:
“I need time to decompress”
“I have a lot of adrenaline and want to use it to get things done”
“Can you rub my feet for about ten minutes?”
Or, if it has been a really hard day: “Tonight is a pizza and ice cream night.” Sometimes we actually have pizza. Sometimes we don’t. Regardless, it’s a code that tells the other person that we have had the worst kind of day.
Photo by Shane on Unsplash
Here are a couple of other tips:
Give your partner time to decompress.
Truly listen to the things that stressed your partner about their work day.
Allow your partner a set amount of time (we usually take 30-45 minutes) to relax before having to jump right in to home responsibilities. It takes time to turn off the work switch and turn on the home switch.
If you have a job that allows this, leave work at work as much as possible. At the very least, keep the work emails and calls to a minimum at home.
Set aside specific and regular date time. (We have Mondays and Tuesdays off, so we get all of our tasks done on Monday, and Tuesday is our date day. We run a few errands here and there, but we reserve as much of Tuesday as we can for couple bonding and self care.
Have alone time. This is so important! Just because you are married doesn’t mean that private self care isn’t important. We each have specific time for alone time in which we are not expected to get any chores done – it is time for us to relax and rejuvenate.
Trial and error. It takes time – some things work and some things don’t. Your relationship is unique and needs its own kind of customization.
Have a conversation about areas where you can improve the balance between work and home with your partner. Set up at least one new boundary. After implementing, communicate about how that boundary is working and make adjustments as needed.
References
Althammer, S. E., Reis, D., Beek, S., Beck, L., & Michel, A. (2021). A mindfulness intervention promoting work–life balance: How segmentation preference affects changes in detachment, well‐being, and work–life balance. Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology. https://doi-org.erl.lib.byu.edu/10.1111/joop.12346
Dee, A. D. A., Dizon, L. C. T., Aldaba, J. R. M., & Teng-Calleja, M. (2020). “Work is life”: An interpretative phenomenological analysis of the experiences of work–life balance among nongovernment workers. International Perspectives in Psychology: Research, Practice, Consultation, 9(4), 230–246. https://doi-org.erl.lib.byu.edu/10.1037/ipp0000147
Dousin, O., Collins, N., Bartram, T., & Stanton, P. (2021). The relationship between work‐life balance, the need for achievement, and intention to leave: Mixed‐method study. Journal of Advanced Nursing, 77(3), 1478–1489. https://doi-org.erl.lib.byu.edu/10.1111/jan.14724
Reverberi, E., Manzi, C., Van Laar, C., & Meeussen, L. (2021). The impact of poor work-life balance and unshared home responsibilities on work-gender identity integration. Self and Identity. https://doi-org.erl.lib.byu.edu/10.1080/15298868.2021.1914715
Starmer, A. J., Frintner, M. P., Matos, K., Somberg, C., Freed, G., & Byrne, B. J. (2019). Gender discrepancies related to pediatrician work-life balance and household responsibilities. Pediatrics, 144(4). https://doi-org.erl.lib.byu.edu/10.1542/peds.2018-2926
Aubrey-Dawn Palmer was born and raised in Farmington, New Mexico, and she has a bachelor’s degree in family studies from Brigham Young University. She has two younger brothers and is married to her best friend, Richard. In addition to her research on relationships, human attachment, and healthy sexuality, Aubrey-Dawn volunteers with her husband as a teacher for the Strengthening Families Program, is a research director for a counseling center, and works as a home counselor at a residential treatment center.
Family time is something that is important to so many of us, especially when it comes to the holidays. Spending time together baking, playing games, and creating traditions and memories largely contribute to why we personally love this season so much. In fact, these family traditions are a very important part of developing family identity and family unity (Fiese, et al., 2002), creating emotional security for children (Spagnola, & Fiese, 2007), and even increasing marital satisfaction (Fiese, et al., 2002)! However, managing time with family can be a real headache when you are in a serious relationship – particularly if you don’t get along well with the in-laws. Here are a few tips that will help you navigate the time you spend together with your families of origin (the family you grew up in) all year round.
Show Gratitude
Planning family get-togethers takes a lot of effort. Coordinating schedules, food, and activities can be quite a difficult task, especially as families grow exponentially over the years. When one of your families invites you to spend time with them, do your best to be respectful and to show gratitude regardless of whether or not you are able to make it. Doing what you can to help plan and contribute, or even a long-distance video chat or phone call into the get-together can go along way in helping each of your families feel loved. Also understand when your family cannot be with you – traveling for special occasions takes time and money. Be grateful for the time your family can spend with you, instead of pressuring them to be at more events.
Be Mindful of Your Significant Other’s Needs
Healthy relationships are all about sacrifice and love, and sometimes you have to sacrifice time with your own family in order to give your spouse the time that they would like to have with their family.
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Rian: My husband grew up in Arizona, and a large chunk of his family still lives there while my family is all in Utah. Because we live so close to my parents and siblings, we spend a lot of time with them (which I love because I’m a total homebody). That means that it takes a lot more planning and effort to get together with my husband’s family. However, because his family is as important to both of us as my family, we do what we can to put in that extra effort into spending time with them. I know this means a lot to my husband and his family, and while sometimes it takes a little sacrifice, that effort always turns out to be worth it.
Aubrey-Dawn: My husband’s family lives a fifteen-hour drive from us, requiring several days off, and lots of time and money. We have managed to see them about twice a year since getting married. Traveling there is always quite an occasion – family reunions have lots of people, and it can be overwhelming. I work hard to mentally and emotionally prepare to be in a hectic environment with many personalities and lifestyles different from my own because I know that it is important to my husband. At the same time, my husband checks in with me at the beginning and end of each day to see how I am doing and talk with me about any struggles. He also understands that I need alone time, and makes room for it.
Speak Positively
Sometimes it can be really tempting to talk negatively with your spouse about family members behind their back. This type of gossip and/or complaining can be really damaging to the relationships that both you and your spouse have with each other’s families. If you have a problem with a member of either family that you feel you should discuss with your spouse, utilize your healthy communication and problem-solving skills to try and make the experience as constructive and healing as possible. Venting can be beneficial, but it is important to remember that venting and attacking are not the same thing. Remember that what you are saying is about people who are important to your spouse. If you would not want your partner saying those things about your family, you may want to find another way to express your frustrations.
Establish and Maintain Boundaries
Healthy boundaries are important in all relationships. It is okay to say ‘no’ and to state your needs and intents. Sometimes family dynamics can be difficult. Unrealistic expectations, competition, and sometimes even downright meanness are issues many deal with when it comes to their in-laws. Establishing boundaries as a couple can help mitigate these problems and protect you and your partner.
Photo from pexels.com
Aubrey-Dawn: Boundaries have been important in Richard and I’s family interactions, especially with regard to infertility and childcare. There used to be an assumption that because we have no children but want them, we would want to take care of everyone else’s. At a reunion, Richard was left with over a dozen children, while most of the men socialized, and all of the women, myself included, attended a baby shower. At this same reunion, as well as on many other occasions, we sustained many jokes and comments about our incapacity to love and understand anything because we are not parents. It was painful for both of us. We have had to establish boundaries: we do not care for children without advanced notice, and we do so for only one family at a time. We also have had conversations about infertility-related comments. It has been difficult, but these boundaries have helped tremendously.
Your Family Comes First
The most important thing to remember when scheduling extended-family time is that your new family – the family you and your significant other create together – comes first. Making sure you and your spouse (and any kids that may come along) are taken care of is more important than trying to bend to everyone else’s whims. That means you may get called a party-pooper when you have to leave the party early so that your baby can get to bed on time. Or it might mean telling your mother that you and your spouse want to open presents on Christmas morning at your own home in order to have some alone time together. Whatever the case, it is okay to set those boundaries to ensure that your own immediate family is taken care of. In fact, it will help your relationship with your spouse, your kids, and your extended family be a whole lot healthier. Doing everything you can to ensure that your significant other feels safe and respected when you are with extended family is crucial. It will demonstrate to your partner that you respect them, and will strengthen the trust and love that you have for one another.
Come up with a new holiday tradition that you can participate in with your immediate family.
Rian Nicole Gordon is from Orem, Utah, and graduated from Brigham Young University with a Bachelor of Science in Family Life and Human Development. She has been married to her best friend Mark for five years, and they have two beautiful children, one boy and one girl. Apart from her full-time job as a stay-at-home mom, she works for The Dibble Institute, which specializes in relationship education for youth.
Aubrey-Dawn Palmer was born and raised in Farmington, New Mexico, and she has a bachelor’s degree in family studies from Brigham Young University. She has two younger brothers and is married to her best friend, Richard. In addition to her research on relationships, human attachment, and healthy sexuality, Aubrey-Dawn volunteers with her husband as a teacher for the Strengthening Families Program, is a research director for a counseling center, and works as a home counselor at a residential treatment center.
Opinion Piece written by Aubrey-Dawn and Richard Palmer
We recently talked about how sometimes after the honeymoon, and the kids, and the house, and the career come along, our spouse ends up at the bottom of our to-do list. Even we have said to each other, “I’ll kiss you when I finish…” or, “A date is not in the cards this week”. We have also said to each other, “I really need a date.”
Sometimes that means it has been a long week, and we need a break. Sometimes it means we feel disconnected. Sometimes it means we need to play, or relax, or feel sexy, or just get out. In marriage, couples develop a routine. Having a routine is important, but if things become too routine, romantic partners become mundane roommates.
Dating reminds us that we come first. Not me. Not him/her. Us. Work, infertility treatments, bills, errands, volunteer work, and extended family are a few pieces of our crazy lives. But it isn’t really about any of that. We come first, and dating helps us keep that perspective. It keeps us unified, and refreshes and gives us the energy we need to keep up with other demands. It both helps us accomplish our to-do lists, and reminds us who should be at the top of it (pun intended!).
Richard’s experience: “Once we didn’t go on a date for a somewhat long period of time, and there was little reason for me to do anything extra – dress up, perform well at work, or even clean the house. I forgot to do the little things – bringing home a rose, making the bed, or giving her a goodnight kiss. I didn’t joke with her as much, and there wasn’t the same motivation to make her laugh. Obviously I still loved her, and I still did things for her, like rub her back at night to help her fall asleep, but my priorities did change. It was more about serious, ‘life’ stuff, than about our relationship.”
Dates can and must take many forms.
Variety is important. Let dates reflect either the climate of your relationship, or the needs of you and your partner. For example, if the climate of your relationship has been playful, you might go to an arcade, out dancing, or to a sporting event you both enjoy. Or, if you and your partner have had a particularly difficult week, you might get couples massages, or stay home, order takeout, and watch a movie or play games. Our favorite though, is to hike or drive to the top of a mountain, eat dinner, watch the sun set, and talk about absolutely nothing relevant.
Your dating experience needs to be tailored to your relationship, and only you and your partner can do that. Dates can be simple, fancy, long, short, playful, romantic, active, relaxing, cathartic, sexy or a combination of things. You decide, but switch it up.
Balance spontaneous and planned dates.
The difference between the two is the level of commitment. A spontaneous date could look something like this: “On the way home from grocery shopping, why don’t we stop and grab ice cream?” (In case you’re confused, grocery shopping is NOT a date. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t make a little date before or after.) The commitment level is lower, but it also shows that you are thinking of your significant other and that you care enough to buy them that ice cream cone. A planned date might be something like, “I got a reservation to our favorite restaurant and then afterwards we are going to see that play we have wanted to see for so long.” These kinds of dates require a higher level of commitment because you are prioritizing in advance, and thinking more in an us mind set: we love this restaurant, and we have wanted to see this play for a while now. Both are needed and essential to having a successful dating life in marriage.
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Accommodate for differing interests when dating.
While most of the time, dates need to be activities that both parties enjoy, or at least do not detest, occasionally it is important to plan a date that is tailored to the needs of your significant other.
Photo by Matt W Newman on Unsplash
Aubrey-Dawn’s experience: “When I was still in college, I had one particularly stressful semester. My husband knew that I was stressed. I told him that I would be staying late to study. When I came home that evening, I found some of my clothes on the bed with instructions to put them on, which I did. When I went into the kitchen, I discovered that my husband had made dinner, set a beautiful table with a couple of roses, and written me a long, thoughtful note. We ate dinner together, and were able to spend some much needed ‘us’ time. This helped me relax and put my concerns aside, and I was more energized when I returned to my studies the next day. Richard was aware of my needs, and selflessly took the time to plan a date for me. It was simple and inexpensive, but it was what I needed.”
Usually tailoring dates to the needs of your significant other will be a pleasant experience for you as well, since dating is meant to improve the relationship. Remember though, that it is possible to date selfishly. Selfish daters only do activities they enjoy – for them, dating is not about the relationship or unity, but about the activity and their own pleasure. It is okay to have needs and preferences, but it is not realistic to expect dates to fill every need, and it is disrespectful to refuse to go on dates you do not enjoy. The occasional opera or UFC fight will not kill you. But your attitude might kill the date…if you let it.
Again, both spontaneous and planned dates can take many different attitudes: playful, sexy, active, relaxing, etc. And again, a date is not an errand or shop talk. A date is not about your to-do list. It is is about your relationship. The beauty is, we create our relationships. We get to decide. But that doesn’t matter, unless we put ‘us’ first.
Aubrey-Dawn Palmer was born and raised in Farmington, New Mexico, and she has a bachelor’s degree in family studies from Brigham Young University. She has two younger brothers and is married to her best friend, Richard. In addition to her research on relationships, human attachment, and healthy sexuality, Aubrey-Dawn volunteers with her husband as a teacher for the Strengthening Families Program, is a research director for a counseling center, and works as a home counselor at a residential treatment center.
Richard Palmer was born and raised in Farmington, New Mexico, and then moved on to live in Alaska and Texas before finally marrying his high school best friend, Aubrey-Dawn. He works at a residential treatment center, and specializes in working with ASD adolescents. He is studying recreational therapy and art.
When Joe and Alice (names have been changed) were first married, they spent every minute together. Usually their schedules were the same, but when Alice went out one night, Joe enjoyed a couple of hours of alone time. He felt guilty for enjoying this alone time, and so he said nothing when he realized that he was feeling overwhelmed by all of their togetherness. Alice had the same guilty feeling when Joe went to work on a day she had off.
Another couple, Mike and Sarah (names have been changed) felt that they were becoming no more than distant roommates. Their schedules were opposite. Mike worked at night, and Sarah worked during the day. Medical bills were high, and their schedules were not likely to change. When they did see each other, they were tired, and it was late at night when they were getting ready for bed, or early in the morning when Sarah was getting ready for work.
Photo by Vladimir Kudinov on Unsplash
These two examples – two extremes – illustrate that alone time and together time are both important. Finding a balance between spending time together and alone is essential when it comes to having a healthy relationship.
John Gottman, a leading researcher in couple relationships, says that a minimum of five hours of quality time per week is essential for maintaining healthy romantic relationships. This advice is corroborated by a large amount of research (Benson, 2016). These five hours do not include “shop talk” (conversations about the busy and mundane stuff: work, finances, parenting, etc.). Instead, these five hours are for doing something enjoyable: pillow talk, dinner, a card game, dancing, hiking, shopping, going out to eat, kissing, cooking or something else that members of a partnership enjoy.
Photo by Quinn Eliason
While this time together will help you to get to know each other better, alleviate stress, and deepen your love and commitment, it is perfectly okay to need and want alone time as well. We all need time to rejuvenate, strengthen, and collect ourselves. Spending appropriate amounts of time on our own, without our partner, can increase our ability to be good spouses. Here’s an example from my life.
I love Tuesdays. This is my day off. After I kiss my husband goodbye and he goes to work on Tuesday morning, I put in a couple of loads of laundry, pay bills and do some of the mundane things that need to be done around the house. But I also crank up my favorite 90’s country music, or binge watch one of my favorite shows while I fold laundry, clean, or reorganize some part of the house. I also do something for myself. Sometimes I write in my journal, sometimes I read, and sometimes I work out. I love my husband, but I also love Tuesdays. Because I have taken some productive alone time, by the time my husband comes home, I am ready and excited to see him, and because I have had a good and productive day, he comes home to a happy wife and clean laundry. He kisses me, and then I make sure to give him plenty time to debrief about work (usually twenty minutes or so), and then the remainder of the night is usually reserved for a date. My husband gets alone time on Saturday nights, and allows me the same debriefing time when I get home from work.
Photo by Tia Hall Photography
Sometimes other demands can get in the way of this essential couple time. Children, while important, can sometimes make this time difficult. If you have children, remember that your relationship is more important than your children. Your children exist because of your relationship, and they need to know that your marriage/partnership is important. According to many theories and a lot of research, children model what they see (Jenkins et al., 2005). When children see you cuddling in the living room, or kissing in the kitchen, or going on a date, as well as communicating about your needs and making time for each other, they will exercise similar relationship skills when they are older. They will also be more respectful of you and your partner, because they are watching you respect and care for each other.
Photo by Liza Jane Photography
Take one hour this week to do something you enjoy. The laundry will still be there. So will the dishes. But take an hour to rejuvenate. Then, take some time to be a couple, sans shop talk. Repeat as often as you can.
References
Babcock, J. C., Gottman, J. M., Ryan, K. D., & Gottman, J. S. (2013). A component analysis of a brief psycho-educational couples’ workshop: one-year follow-up results. Journal of Family Therapy, 35(3), 252–280. https://doi-org.erl.lib.byu.edu/10.1111/1467-6427.12017
Benson, K. (2016, December 9). 6 hours a week to a better relationship. The Gottman Institute. https://www.gottman.com/blog/6-hours-a-week-to-a-better-relationship/
Cleary Bradley, R. P., & Gottman, J. M. (2012). Reducing Situational Violence in Low-Income Couples by Fostering Healthy Relationships. Journal of Marital & Family Therapy, 38(Supp S1), 187–198. https://doi-org.erl.lib.byu.edu/10.1111/j.1752-0606.2012.00288.x
Jenkins, J., Simpson, A., Dunn, J., Rasbash, J., & O’Connor, T. G. (2005). Mutual Influence of Marital Conflict and Children’s Behavior Problems: Shared and Nonshared Family Risks. Child Development, 76(1), 24–39. https://doi-org.erl.lib.byu.edu/10.1111/j.1467-8624.2005.00827.x
Aubrey-Dawn Palmer was born and raised in Farmington, New Mexico, and she has a bachelor’s degree in family studies from Brigham Young University. She has two younger brothers and is married to her best friend, Richard. In addition to her research on relationships, human attachment, and healthy sexuality, Aubrey-Dawn volunteers with her husband as a teacher for the Strengthening Families Program, is a research director for a counseling center, and works as a home counselor at a residential treatment center.
If you are currently dealing with loss, reach out to a loved one who can remember with you.
Have a conversation about areas where you can improve the balance between work and home with your partner. Set up at least one new boundary. After implementing, communicate about how that boundary is working and make adjustments as needed.
Aubrey-Dawn Palmer was born and raised in Farmington, New Mexico, and she has a bachelor’s degree in family studies from Brigham Young University. She has two younger brothers and is married to her best friend, Richard. In addition to her research on relationships, human attachment, and healthy sexuality, Aubrey-Dawn volunteers with her husband as a teacher for the Strengthening Families Program, is a research director for a counseling center, and works as a home counselor at a residential treatment center.
Richard Palmer was born and raised in Farmington, New Mexico, and then moved on to live in Alaska and Texas before finally marrying his high school best friend, Aubrey-Dawn. He works at a residential treatment center, and specializes in working with ASD adolescents. He is studying recreational therapy and art.
