What’s the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the acronym PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? When they hear this term, most people tend to think of veterans and soldiers. For me, that misconception changed the day my mom came home from an appointment with a therapist and told my family about her PTSD diagnosis. In that moment my perceptions about PTSD began to change. My mom was suddenly someone who had never served in the military but now had a diagnosis common to many veterans. I started to see that PTSD wasn’t limited to just the veterans, but that it is possible for anyone to end up with PTSD (Van Der Kolk, 2015).
What is PTSD?
PTSD is a mental illness caused by exposure to trauma. However, not everyone who is exposed to trauma will end up with PTSD, only about 7-8% of the population in the United States will have a PTSD diagnosis at some point in their life. Some populations such as women, military veterans, those who were/are abused, and rape and sexual assault survivors are all more likely to be diagnosed with PTSD. Other risk factors for PTSD include long-lasting trauma, early childhood trauma, holding a job that you are more likely to see traumatic events, lack of social support and having a history of mental illness in your family. Although we know of all these risk factors, medical and mental health professional don’t actually know what causes PTSD.
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What are the symptoms of PTSD?
PTSD has a variety of symptoms including the following (please note this is not a comprehensive list):
Avoidant behavior: This could include avoiding certain places, people, or objects that are or could be associated with the trauma.
Reliving the traumatic event: This includes, nightmares or flashbacks where you feel like you are back in the traumatic event and reliving it. Triggers can include sights, smells, or sounds that take you back to the event.
Negative thinking and moods: This includes feeling hopeless about the world, feeling down or depressed, forgetting pieces of the traumatic event, detachment from relationships and feeling emotionally numb
Hyperarousal sometimes described as being on edge:This includes being startled at loud noises, having a hard time sleeping, overwhelming guilt or shame, trouble concentrating, and anger or aggression
Note: PTSD can definitely be hard to understand especially when you aren’t the one directly experiencing it. I would highly recommend watching the show Lie to Me episode “React to Contact” (Season 2 Episode 14). This episode follows a veteran returning home and struggling with PTSD. It’s a great example of what PTSD is like and uses a unique form of treatment that someday may be a reality.
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Treatment for PTSD
There are a variety of treatments used to treat PTSD, however, there is no permanent cure so treatment is more to help those who have PTSD live their day to day lives with fewer symptoms. Treatment for PTSD includes some sort of trauma-focused therapy such as EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) or cognitive behavioral therapy along with some sort of medication, usually an antidepressant. So far these are the only forms of treatment that are research-proven, but activities such as yoga and mindfulness exercises may also be beneficial.
Relationships and PTSD
Now that I’ve talked about the more technical side of PTSD and what it is, I want to talk about the relationship side of PTSD. I have many incredible people in my life who have been diagnosed with PTSD from both military and non-military related trauma. However, I want to focus on those who I am closest to, and their PTSD has been a result of non-military related trauma.
The Parent-Child Relationship and PTSD
I’ll start first with my sweet mom. Her PTSD diagnosis came when I was a teenager and it had a large impact on my family. The first thing was that it gave her a diagnosis other than depression and anxiety (which she had been dealing with from the time before I was born). This new diagnosis meant she could start finding a treatment that would help with the memories, dreams, and flashbacks she would experience. In a lot of ways it was a huge relief because even though I didn’t understand 100% what it was, it seemed that she could now get the help that she needed.
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I do remember times where I struggled to connect with her because she was emotionally distant. This was especially true on days when she had had therapy and she was processing. Research has shown that this is actually common; a parent that has PTSD may be distant from their child, especially when they are processing a memory. I also remember having to adjust and avoid doing things that may be triggers for her. If something triggered her PTSD, I learned to leave her alone and let her come down from the trigger, another common experience among children who have parents or parental figures who have PTSD.
Marriage Relationships and PTSD
What I learned from my experience with my mom came into full force when I met and married my sweet husband. He also has PTSD, and being married to someone with PTSD has been another learning curve and experience. There are days when things are good and the PTSD symptoms are low and manageable, and there are other days that are filled with anxiety, weighted blankets, rough nights of little sleep, and minimal functioning. Each day is different and unique but it’s always worth the fight to stand next to him and help him through whatever he is dealing with that day. Some days it does take a toll on me and I have to take a break and take care of myself so that I can be a support for him, and sometimes it means I don’t get done what I want or need to because taking care of him is more important and I need to put him first.
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What You Can Do To Help
While writing this article, I asked both my mom and my husband what advice they would have for someone who is a spouse of a PTSD warrior or who knows someone who has PTSD. I’ve chosen four things that they’ve suggested to help:
Educate yourself about PTSD – Education can help a partner to understand what is going on when the person is struggling with symptoms of PTSD. It can also help them to know what to do to help the person because sometimes what we think is helpful to someone isn’t always helpful, especially when it comes to PTSD. Also be aware of where they can get help and when to get them help (Bressert, 2018).
Understand there are going to be things that are hard for the person with PTSD – Some triggers may make certain aspects of relationships difficult. The most common aspect of relationships affected by PTSD is the sexual aspect. People who have PTSD related to sexual trauma may have triggers that come from certain types of touch or may lose interest in sexual activity. This may mean sex happens less than one partner would like. If this is the case, communicate with your spouse, and be patient. Getting help from a professional can be an important resource for this particular difficulty.
Don’t take things personally – This was a huge one that my mom emphasized. Don’t take things personally. Sometimes the partner with PTSD is feeling disconnected or doesn’t want to be touched because of the trauma and so it’s best for the non-PTSD partner to not take it personally.
Be loving and patient with them – This is the biggest one for my husband. Some days the person with PTSD is struggling and they need their partner to be patient with them and let them know that they are loved. This includes not trying to fix the problem but rather be there with them while they go through it.
Option 1: If you have PTSD or know someone with PTSD talk about your experience or ask them about their experience. Talking about it helps to #endthestigma
Option 2: Watch this video (Trauma and Addiction: Crash Course Psychology #31) on YouTube to learn more about PTSD, and then share it!
Anasteece Smith is a Utah Native with dreams of becoming a Texas girl. She is the oldest of seven children and married her sweetheart in 2018 who happened to have her same last name. She recently graduated from Brigham Young University with a Bachelor of Science in Family Life. In her free time, Anasteece likes to read, paint, swim, hike, camp, hammock, and do graphic design. She is passionate about mental health, healthy sexuality, family resilience, feminism, religion, and research on shame, vulnerability, and perfectionism.
One of the most difficult things about anxiety is that it is a vicious cycle – once the worry begins, it can be difficult to get your brain to stop, particularly if you aren’t aware of what is triggering the stress. Luckily, there are quite a few simple research-proven tricks that you can do every day to help calm down your racing brain, and stop the worry cycle. And the best part is, most of them don’t need any sort of special equipment or training, and you can do them almost anywhere!
Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is defined as an “awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally.” (Kabat-Zinn, 1994) Because anxiety often stems from worrying about the future or the unknown, focusing on the present moment non-judgmentally by practicing mindfulness can help reduce the anxiety that you experience from day-to-day (Davis & Hayes, 2012; Evans, et. al, 2008; Hoffman, Sawyer, Witt, & Oh, 2010).
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There are several different ways that you can practice mindfulness in your life. Here are just a few for you to try:
Grounding exercises: Grounding exercises are an excellent way to help bring yourself into the present and keep your thoughts and anxiety from spinning out of control. These exercises involve honing in on one or more of the five senses to help take your focus off of the future and the unknown, and bring it back to the present. For example, if you notice yourself feeling anxious, take a few minutes to hyper-focus in on what you hear in that moment – your own breath, the rustling of your clothes, the air conditioning, someone talking in the cubicle next to you, etc. The same goes for any of the other senses. You can choose to focus on just one sense or multiple. As you practice these grounding exercises, they will help switch your brain out of panic mode, and into the present.
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Deep Breathing: Connecting to your breath is another quick and easy way to pull your mind out of anxiety and into the present moment. Breathing slowly and deeply signals to your brain to relax, and restores a sense of control and peace to your entire body. If you find yourself feeling anxious, try taking even just 3-5 deep breaths. If you need a little more, try one of these breathing exercises, or one of these options here.
P.S. There are also a lot of great phone apps that you can download that focus on helping with deep breathing!
Brushing your teeth: The art of mindfulness does not come naturally or easily to everyone, but it is something we can all practice and improve. An easy way to strengthen your own mindful awareness skills is by practicing while you perform a common everyday routine such as brushing your teeth! Move slowly and thoughtfully, and pay careful attention to the sensations. How does it feel as the bristles of the toothbrush move across your teeth, mouth, and tongue? What does the toothpaste taste like? Try to focus solely on the moment, and what you are experiencing right now. If you find your thoughts starting to wander, don’t panic! Just gently direct them back to thinking about brushing your teeth. The more you practice this, the easier it will get. You can also try this exercise with washing your hair, or eating your breakfast.
Set aside designated worry time
While it may sound counterintuitive, research has actually shown that setting aside a designated time to feel worried can reduce overall anxiety (Borkovec, Wilkinson, Folensbee, & Lerman, 1983; Mcgowan & Behar, 2013)! The idea is that setting aside time to think about your worries can help you train your brain to control how often and when you worry. This way, when you are trying to sleep, work, engage with loved ones, etc. you can calm your mind and put a stop to the anxiety cycle before it spirals out of control. Here’s how it works (adapted from Kim Pratt’s Psychology Tools: Schedule “Worry Time”):
Schedule between 15-30 minutes each day for one week as your designated “worry time”. Put it in your calendar or set an alarm to help remind you.
During your designated worry time, write down all of your worries that you can think of. Don’t feel like you have to solve them during this time. When your worry time is up, put your list away and move on with the rest of your day.
Between worry times: if you start to worry, tell yourself to let go of those thoughts until the next designated worry period. Don’t get frustrated if this is difficult at first. You may need to remind yourself over and over to let go of your worries until it’s your worry time.
At the end of the week, consider reviewing what you wrote down over the course of that week and reflect on what you see. Noticing patterns or repeat worries can help you prioritize and better address what is causing you to worry.
Repeat. Start again at the beginning of a new week! The more you practice, the better you will get at controlling when and where you worry. You can even reduce your amount of designated worry time as you improve.
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Giving voice to your emotions
Acknowledging the feelings and emotions that you are experiencing is an important way to allow them to move through you rather than hold you back as you keep them bottled up inside. One of the ways to do this is through journaling. Keeping a journal that acts as a place where you can openly and freely express your thoughts and emotions is a great way to process the worries that you are experiencing. Sometimes writing it down will be all it takes for you to feel better about a problem. Journaling can also help you keep track of things that trigger your anxiety. Understanding how your worry works can be a key to helping you learn how to manage it better!
While journaling can help you process your emotions and anxiety, it can also be really helpful to verbally acknowledge your feelings and talk with someone about what you are experiencing. Find a trusted friend or family member that you feel like you can talk to! Sometimes just saying what you are feeling can be a release, and can help you start on a path to healing. Sharing experiences also creates opportunity for empathy, for learning, and for mutual understanding. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable and open up to someone can also present opportunities for you to get the help you need to get through the tough days.
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Be aware that while friends and family are excellent resources, sometimes you need a little more guidance. A professional counselor or therapist can help you further process your anxiety, and give you more tools to help you manage it. Don’t be afraid to talk to your doctor about seeing someone who has been trained for this specific purpose (read hereto learn more about why everyone needs therapy in their life)!
Remember
It’s important to acknowledge that even if you practice all of these techniques, you may still struggle with managing your anxiety. THAT IS OKAY. Be patient with yourself. As you learn to use the resources that are available to you, you will be able to manage the difficulties that life throws at you. Take it a day at a time, and focus on the present, and always remember that you are not alone.
Pick one of these anxiety-busting tricks to try out this week, and share with us how it works for you!
Rian Nicole Gordon is from Orem, Utah, and graduated from Brigham Young University with a Bachelor of Science in Family Life and Human Development. She has been married to her best friend Mark for five years, and they have two beautiful children, one boy and one girl. Apart from her full-time job as a stay-at-home mom, she works for The Dibble Institute, which specializes in relationship education for youth.
Over the past few years, mental health is something that has been discussed more and more openly; something that I believe is incredibly important, and worthy of celebration. There is still a lot of work to be done, however, on educating the general population about various mental illnesses, and on working to get rid of the stigma that has long surrounded the topic. That is why today, I would like to give some general information about clinical depression. I hope that knowing this information will empower you to better manage your own mental and emotional health, and will also help you recognize when those around you may be in need of some extra love, care, and help.
Here are five things you need to know about depression:
1. Depression doesn’t just mean feeling sad.
Depression is a real illness that can affect people in many different ways. While feeling sad, or having a “depressed mood” is a very common symptom, depression can also cause loss of interest in activities that normally bring you pleasure, appetite changes, issues with sleep, lack of energy or sluggishness, nervous ticks or restless activity, feelings of worthlessness or guilt, trouble concentrating, and suicidal thoughts. For me personally, depression makes me feel very tired, worthless, and apathetic towards pretty much everything. It’s not something that I can just pull myself out of or “get over”.
You need to have been experiencing symptoms of depression for 2 weeks to be diagnosed.
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It’s important to acknowledge that we all experience times of sadness in our lives. The death of a loved one, losing a job, or a difficult breakup will of course bring sadness and grief. These emotions are natural, and even a healthy part of healing. However, just because we are going through a time of difficulty does not mean that we are depressed. There are a few important distinctions outlined by the American Psychiatric Association that can help us determine if we are experiencing normal grief, or if we need to seek help and treatment for depression:
“In grief, painful feelings come in waves, often intermixed with positive memories of the deceased. In major depression, mood and/or interest (pleasure) are decreased for most of two weeks.”
“In grief, self-esteem is usually maintained. In major depression, feelings of worthlessness and self-loathing are common.”
For some people, traumatic life events can bring on both grief and depression. “When grief and depression co-exist, the grief is more severe and lasts longer than grief without depression.”
Here is a quick little 3-minute survey that can help you determine whether or not you are experiencing depression.
2. Depression can affect anyone.
This instagram campaign from 2017 #faceofdepression shows that people of all ages, races, nationalities, and backgrounds can experience depression. According to the World Health Organization, 300 million people around the world have depression, and the APA estimates that one in six people will experience depression at some point during their lifetime. There has also been a recent increase in depression among adolescents. Having money or fame, getting good grades in school, or being married or in a relationship do not make you immune. If you find yourself suffering from depression, know that you are not alone and that you are in good company (if you don’t believe me, check out this WebMD slideshow of famous people with depression that includes JK Rowling, Kristen Bell, and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson).
3. Depression can be caused by a variety of things.
While depression can be triggered by many different things, there are a few factors that can make you more likely to experience depression.
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Brain Chemistry: Chemical imbalances in the brain can cause depression.
Genetics: If someone in your family suffers from depression, you are more likely to experience it as well.
Health Problems: Depression can sometimes be a side-effect of other health problems such as thyroid issues, vitamin deficiencies, or hormone imbalances. If you are experiencing depression, it is important to get checked for these other problems so that they can be treated (this will often help with the depression symptoms).
Personality: People who struggle with low self-esteem, who are dealing with stress, or who are generally more pessimistic are more likely to experience depression.
Trauma: Abuse, neglect, and other traumatic or life-altering experiences can make you more susceptible to depression.
Sex: Women are actually more likely to experience depression than men.
4. Depression doesn’t have to win.
If you or someone you love is experiencing depression, there is hope! Depression is actually a very treatable disorder, and according to the APA, “between 80 percent and 90 percent of people with depression eventually respond well to treatment”. There are many different resources and options for dealing with depression, the most effective usually being a combination of talk therapy and medication. The first step in getting help would be to talk to your doctor. They can help recommend treatment options and refer you to other mental health resources in your area. Other important things that you can do to help beat depression are exercise, getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and taking time for self-care.
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5. When in doubt, reach out!
If you are unsure whether or not the symptoms you are experiencing are actual diagnosable depression, it is always best to reach out for help. Talk with a doctor, partner, or trusted friend or family member, and let them know you are struggling. The more we get comfortable talking about depression (and other mental illnesses), the less scary or daunting it will seem, and the more people we will empower to get the help they need!
This week, share your favorite thing you learned about depression from this article on social media. Let’s spread the word and stop the stigma!
Rian Nicole Gordon is from Orem, Utah, and graduated from Brigham Young University with a Bachelor of Science in Family Life and Human Development. She has been married to her best friend Mark for five years, and they have two beautiful children, one boy and one girl. Apart from her full-time job as a stay-at-home mom, she works for The Dibble Institute, which specializes in relationship education for youth.
Suicide has been at the forefront of my mind lately, especially with the recent tragic deaths of fashion designer Kate Spade on June 5, and chef Anthony Bourdain on June 8. Nearly every article recently published about this topic shares grim statistics and a list of resources for those struggling to receive help. However, numbers are impersonal, and celebrities sometimes seem abstract—and, it has come to my attention that there is a far greater population that we don’t often talk about: the people who struggle with suicidal ideation and tendencies, and who are here—living, breathing, working, laughing, and struggling with troubling thoughts that most of their friends and family may not be aware of.
For good measure, let’s first look at the numbers.
9.8 million people seriously thought about suicide
2.8 million people made a plan for suicide
1.3 million people attempted suicide
Nearly 45,000 people died from suicide
The number of people who seriously think about suicide is 3.5 times more than those who make a plan for suicide, and over 7.5 times more than those who attempt suicide. In this article, we’ll meet three individuals who struggle with suicidal ideation, who have offered to share their experiences.
*I should note that I know two of these individuals personally (and have had the privilege of getting to know the third through this project), and I had no idea that they have struggled with this. As you read their experiences, keep in mind that their experiences may easily mirror those of your closest friends and family members. You may just not know it yet.
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To protect these individuals’ privacy, I’ll be referring to them as Annie, Megan, and Sarah. All are in their mid-to-late 20’s.
Part 1: Introductions
Annie began having suicidal thoughts when she was around 8 or 9 years old, triggered by family members’ survivalist tendencies and religious beliefs about apocalyptic prophecies, “signs of the times,” and the terrible things that would happen to the wicked people before the second coming of Christ. While the option of suicide was a last resort when she was younger, over time (and through various traumatic events in her life), the option came more quickly and often to the front of her mind. The suicidal thoughts were also heightened through the hormone imbalance PMDD—Pre-menstrual Dysphoric Disorder—a severe form of PMS that includes suicidal ideation as a possible symptom. She has attempted suicide twice.
Megan’s suicidal thoughts began soon after she was married—first through depression, which turned into self-destructive behavior, which quickly escalated into suicidal tendency. Because her suicidal thoughts began shortly after her marriage, both her and her husband struggled thinking the two situations were connected. Over time and with help, they were able to discover that the life change of getting married was a trigger rather than the root of the issue. More on that later in the article!
Sarah has experienced many traumas through her life so far, including feeling like an outcast in her adopted family, being told regularly what a failure and embarrassment she is to her family, and losing her childhood best friend in her senior year of high school. “Losing her hurt the most,” she states. “I have never been the same.” Sarah sought help in November 2015 after not sleeping for a week and was diagnosed bipolar. Shortly after her diagnosis she tried to commit suicide and (gratefully) failed. “I was overwhelmed and just tired of living,” she states. “I had nothing to live for.” She spent 23 days in a psych hospital, after which she attended a 2-month outpatient program. In February 2017 she gave birth to her first child. In December 2017 she overdosed and spent 11 days in the psych hospital.
Part 2: Creating a Team
Annie’s catalyst to seeking help came after she confided in her then-boyfriend. He felt helpless and unsure of how to help, and chose to end the relationship. Annie then decided to find help for her specific issues. She was able to find a therapist who was not only a suicidologist who had experience working with people with suicidal ideation, but also had a knowledge of PMDD. Annie shares, “[My therapist has] been an incredible help to me in not only feeling accepted despite my struggle with suicidal ideation but in working to retrain my mind to take pauses at moments when the thoughts typically arise, using coping statements to move past them, using grounding techniques, meditation, and even yoga.”
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For Megan, help came when she was finally able to admit that she needed help, to recognize and talk about the problem, and then to see a specialist about it. “It took many doctor visits and a lot of time to learn that it was only a trigger — that it wasn’t because of the marriage, but because the huge life change essentially flipped a switch in my brain that started the depression and suicidal tendencies.” She continues, “Sometimes high stress situations will worsen it, but it’s been no different than any other illness that comes and goes randomly. I mean, if you get a cold and put stress on your body it’ll make it worse, but it’s not the root cause. It just happens, and it’s hard to disassociate it without blaming it on things in life or on people.” For Megan, the suicidal tendencies stem from a chemical imbalance, and recognizing that makes it easier for her—and her husband—to handle, and has even brought them closer. Being open about her struggles with those closest to her, and helping people understand that this is an illness, has been one of the best things for her.
Sarah also found outside help. She states, “What’s helped most is speaking to a counselor and just trying to make time for myself. I received a rock in outpatient therapy. It says ‘enough.’ The rock goes everywhere I go. It means more to me than anybody will ever understand. I struggle with self worth and feeling like I’m never enough. That rock constantly reminds me I am.”
While each of these women had their own unique journeys, their common path seems to be finding a therapist or other qualified professional to help them navigate their healing. Each of these professionals have different specialties, backgrounds, and personalities—and these women have found the professional who can best help them in their unique journey.
Part 3: What they’d like friends and family to know
Annie says: “Most people have no idea how to respond when someone confides in them about suicidal ideation. Which I totally get, it can be scary. But even if you don’t outright reject someone when they confide in you, sometimes certain responses can still feel like rejection. More often than not, suicidal thoughts will communicate to the person that they are unloved, are a burden, wouldn’t be missed, have nothing to contribute to the world, etc. and a lot of these thoughts can come from loneliness (at least they often do in my case). So helping that person feel accepted, loved, wanted, and included can make so MUCH of a difference. Being willing and patient enough to reassure someone of this repeatedly (for as long as they need it) can be helpful too.”
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She also notes that there’s a difference between someone who is suicidal and someone struggling with suicidal ideation. While Annie has struggled with suicidal ideation for most of her life, she has only been suicidal 2-3 times. “That’s not to say that suicidal ideation isn’t dangerous,” she notes. “It absolutely can be since it can always escalate. But it is good to know that [suicidal ideation and being suicidal] can be very different so that your immediate response maybe isn’t one of panic or fear but a desire to understand what the other person is actually experiencing so that you can actually help them more effectively.”
I followed up with Annie, asking how someone can recognize whether someone is suicidal as opposed to experiencing suicidal ideation. She said that the line is often different for different people, and can be imperceptible, even to those closest to them. In Annie’s opinion, the best thing someone can do is make sure their friends have access to resources, like the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255), or the Crisis Text Line (Text CONNECT to 741741 in the United States). You can also sit down with your friend and help them navigate their healthcare options to find a therapist they’d be comfortable with.
Megan emphasizes the importance of recognizing that suicidal tendencies are often the result of chemical imbalances—and that this is a sickness, not a choice. “This is a hard thing to explain to someone who doesn’t struggle with suicidal tendencies, or know of someone who does, because it’s really weird to think of your own mind just doing this to yourself. People will equate it with things they are more familiar with, like the kid they knew in high school who decided life was too hard, or their own occasional depressed feelings after a tough breakup, or what they’ve seen on television and so on. Those are all real life experiences but they differ from suicidal tendency in that it’s solely an illness of the brain, a chemical imbalance, like the way cancerous cells take over the body.” Offering love and support is the best thing you can offer. Megan says, “Never underestimate the power of ‘I am here for you,’ ‘You can do this,’ a holding of the hand, even a smile.”
Sarah echoed these sentiments, adding: “I wish people would be compassionate and give us grace.”
Part 4: For those struggling with suicidal tendencies
Annie was very honest about her current place in this journey: “It absolutely sucks but you’re definitely not alone in this—more people experience this than you realize.” She continues, “Having these thoughts doesn’t mean you’re broken. You always have the power to change them and not to act on them. It might take time and a lot of effort, especially when you’re really struggling, but it’s doable. I’d like to say ‘It gets better,’ but I’m not personally there yet, so I can’t say that I personally know that for sure. I do know that the human mind can accomplish so many surprising things, that it doesn’t feel unreasonable to think that it’s possible to overcome suicidal ideation. I used to feel very certain that suicide would eventually be the end of me. Now, I’m at least somewhat hopeful that, maybe that won’t be the case.”
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On a similar note, Megan says, “For anyone else that might be going through anything similar, I know this is not a helpful thing to hear now but it does get better, always. And do not be afraid to admit it, to be open about it, or to seek help. I remember hearing that while I was on the fence about it, and how much I felt it wasn’t for me. But everything changed for the better almost immediately after I stepped out of that bubble. And, while I still struggle with it sometimes, in hindsight I’m all the better for opening myself to it.”
Sarah offers us a closing declaration: “Don’t give up,” she says. “The journey is hard, but you have a purpose here. You are enough, even on the dark days you don’t see it. If you’re struggling, don’t be scared to reach out for help. Confide in someone you trust and love.”
Part 5: Resources
Thank you so much to these incredible women for sharing their experiences with suicidal ideation. I’m grateful that this conversation is open, and hope that your sharing will help others feel less alone.
Photo by Jonathan Rados on Unsplash
Over the last few weeks, as this topic has become more prevalent in the news and social media, one of the most impactful things I have read is a simple statement: Check on your strong friend.
You can’t always see suicidal thoughts or plans. You can’t always see depression, anxiety, or any other internal struggles. The strongest and happiest people you know may very well be fighting the most difficult battles within them. Show love to everyone. Offer friendship, compassion, and grace to those you know are struggling. Be willing to sit with those who are hurting. And know the resources, just in case.
Conrad, K. J., Bezruczko, N., Chan, Y.-F., Riley, B., Diamond, G., & Dennis, M. L. (2010). Screening for atypical suicide risk with person fit statistics among people presenting to alcohol and other drug treatment. Drug and Alcohol Dependence, 106(2–3), 92–100. https://doi-org.erl.lib.byu.edu/10.1016/j.drugalcdep.2009.07.023
Norlev, J., Davidsen, M., Sundaram, V., & Kjøller, M. (2005). Indicators Associated with Suicidal Ideation and Suicide Attempts Among 16-35-Year-Old Danes: A National Representative Population Study. Suicide and Life-Threatening Behavior, 35(3), 291–308. https://doi-org.erl.lib.byu.edu/10.1521/suli.2005.35.3.291
Vasiliadis, H.-M., Lamoureux-Lamarche, C., Pitrou, I., & Berbiche, D. (2020). Sex differences in type of lifetime trauma and suicidal ideation mediated by post-traumatic stress and anxio-depressive disorders in older adults. International Psychogeriatrics, 32(4), 473–483. https://doi-org.erl.lib.byu.edu/10.1017/S1041610219001893
Allie Barnes graduated from Brigham Young University with a Bachelor of Science in Family Studies, earned a certificate in Substance Use Disorder Counseling from Utah Valley University, and studied writing throughout her undergraduate career. In every professional role she’s filled since then, her focus remains the same: People.
Option 1: If you have PTSD or know someone with PTSD talk about your experience or ask them about their experience. Talking about it helps to #endthestigma
Anasteece Smith is a Utah Native with dreams of becoming a Texas girl. She is the oldest of seven children and married her sweetheart in 2018 who happened to have her same last name. She recently graduated from Brigham Young University with a Bachelor of Science in Family Life. In her free time, Anasteece likes to read, paint, swim, hike, camp, hammock, and do graphic design. She is passionate about mental health, healthy sexuality, family resilience, feminism, religion, and research on shame, vulnerability, and perfectionism.
