How can I stop being afraid of relationships? Fear is a universal emotion, and perhaps the most resisted. Our current age provides us with constant and limitless information. This access to data can also generate anxiety. Sometimes the more advice we get the less sure we are of life’s choices. A major, modern concern is in regard to relationships. Have you ever felt scared of marriage after hearing about your friend’s messy divorce? Or wanted to end things after something was said or done that reminded you of a past disappointment? The majority of people will say they desire connection and a romantic partnership, but the uncertainty in achieving that goal often keeps us from trying. While fear is a normal part of life, it does not have to be crippling.
Fear of relationships doesn’t actually protect us from the challenges in relationships. Understanding fear can improve our bonds with others. Leaning into the emotion and asking yourself how this perception came to be will start you on the path to bravery. Fear of fear will hinder our growth. Owning our fear and seeking to understand it gives us back our power.
Fear or Uncertainty
Fear is meant to fuel an action that creates more safety. When we feel unease, we usually avoid the environment that triggered the feeling. Often we bypass associating with others because we’d like to feel sure. However, we cannot be certain of a person unless we make an attempt to connect with them. This is why many individuals who fear relationships feel that the process is a catch-22. In the book The Four Loves it states, “There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one…But [your heart] will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell” (Lewis, 1960).
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The reality is, no matter how knowledgeable or prepared we may feel for relationships, there will always be a risk. We take risks all the time. We risk getting out of bed each morning. We risk rejection when we interview for a new job. We risk our safety when we drive on the road, or get on a plane. While the outcome of such decisions aren’t always in our control, we still take action. Why? Because we’ve practiced. We’ve practiced the choices of ambiguity enough to have hope in the process of life. The way to fear relationships less is to practice this same hope in our experiences with others. Relationships involve discomfort and uncertainty. We will experience hurt in and out of relationships. So, what motivates us to participate in this connection process if it is never a guaranteed safe experience?
We Are Meant to Love
“We are hardwired to connect with others, it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering” (Brown, 2012). The reason we engage in such a risky process as connection is because it’s at the core of life’s meaning. It gives flavor and joy to our lives. It also brings disappointment and challenges. But real suffering comes in avoiding connection altogether. We all need each other if we want to grow.
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Be Brave and Choose Hope
The brain is programmed to protect. This is normal and necessary for our survival. The emotion of fear is nothing more than a chemical reaction working its way through the body as a result of a thought in our mind (Moore, 2018). So, how do we be brave in our ties with others? It starts with our thinking. We have tens of thousands of thoughts a day, and the majority tend to be negative and repetitive. Unless we make those unconscious beliefs conscious, we will be controlled by them. Like Earl Nightingale said, “Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become reality” (Nightingale, 2019). Thought work can be arduous, but just like all good things, it is worth it.
Thinking Errors are patterns of thought that engender fear and other difficult emotions (Boyes, 2013). Patterns such as catastrophizing, all-or-nothing thinking, and fortune-telling are a few of the ways in which our thoughts do us a disservice. When fearful thoughts about others arise ask yourself, “what real evidence is there that this thought is true?”, “Is there a more helpful way to think about this?”, “What’s the likelihood that this will happen?” Remember: don’t believe everything you think. I’m not suggesting that we don’t trust ourselves. Quite the opposite. Our gut knows more than our mind at times. Rather, observe if your thinking is accurate or exaggerated. The more honest you are, the more you can trust yourself. The way we show up for others is deeply based on our thinking. If we fear them, we will show up defensive, worried and insecure. If we choose hope and value the process of connection, we will show up in a way that is honest, vulnerable, and joyful (Moore, 2018).
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So, how can we stop fearing connection? Practice. Take small steps of vulnerability with those who matter to you. Trust is built up of many small and proactive efforts. Start viewing connection in a realistic way. Be the watcher of your thoughts (Tolle, 1997). Notice your errors in thinking, and switch to more helpful ideas. Yes, there will be discomfort and conflict in relationships. It may hurt, and things may even end. But that’s no reason not to try. Let go. Be brave. And recognize that most people have similar fears, but want to love and connect as well. Uncertainty is uncomfortable, but we can handle discomfort. Especially when such risks can lead us to deep and meaningful connections.
Practice mindfulness around your relationship thoughts this week. Study the thinking errors, and pick the one you’d like to work on. As fear arises in the mind walk yourself through your thoughts and feelings by asking yourself the questions in the “be brave” section above. Repeat this de-escalation process until it’s a habit.
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Dray Salcido is from Elkridge, Utah. She is the youngest of seven and enjoys close relationships with her siblings. She graduated with a Bachelor of Social Work from Utah Valley University. She works at a law firm and volunteers with various populations. She enjoys researching and writing about the human experience, and hopes to make that her creative life’s work.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), sometimes called seasonal depression impacts an estimated 10 million people every year (Mayo Clinic, 2017). Characterized by symptoms of increased lethargy, fatigue, depression, hopelessness, increased moodiness, changes in weight and appetite, increased sleep, and decreased motivation, SAD usually begins in the fall and ends at the end of winter when days get longer and temperatures rise. Risk factors include family history of mental illness, and having bipolar disorder, especially bipolar II. Women are 4x more likely to have SAD than men (Mayo Clinic, 2017). Having said this, SAD can impact people during the summer, but is less common. We’ll save that conversation for warmer weather and focus on winter SAD for now.
Winter can be hard for everyone, not just those with SAD. If you don’t have SAD but you find yourself lonely, sad, lethargic, or grieving during the winter months, these tips for coping can help you too.
Light Therapy
Bright light has been proven to be effective in reducing symptoms of seasonal affective disorder, particularly when used two hours daily during the winter season. (Terman, et al., 1989). Light therapy helps regulate the body’s circadian phases by helping to regulate the body’s mood affecting chemicals and hormones (Youngstedt, et al., 2016). You can get light therapy lights on Amazon if you’re interested in giving it a shot.
Exercise
This is pretty obvious. Exercise increases endorphins and serotonin levels, helping to combat depressive symptoms (Leppämäki, et al., 2002). Increasing the heart rate is a great way to fight off feelings of hopelessness and lethargy and other symptoms of depression (Blumenthal et. al., 2012). Sometimes it can be hard to find the motivation, but don’t give up. Push yourself.
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Talk Therapy
As with any mood disorder, talk therapy can be effective in processing through depressive symptoms and feelings of hopelessness or lack of motivation. So if you’re feeling a “winter funk”, consider that maybe it really is a big deal. Seeking support and help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s just taking care of yourself.
Vitamin D
Vitamin D is another way to help stabilize mood. SAD and low vitamin D levels are connected (Whiteman, 2014). Get as much sunlight as you can despite the cold, darker days, and increase food like fish, egg yolks, fortified dairy products and mushrooms. Consult a physician to take vitamin D supplements.
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Social interactions
Even though having SAD makes it easier to isolate and comes with a lack of motivation, getting out and spending time with friends and family is an important way to cope and keep that depressed mood at bay. When my husband lived in Alaska, he met a mayor of a small town who held a weekly dinner at his home and would make personal visits to the citizens of the town to help them feel valued and combat depression and loneliness. Citizens of the town talked about how much they appreciated having these weekly dinners, particularly during the winter.
When it comes down to it, depression, anxiety, bipolar, and SAD are serious mood disorders which are commonly comorbid (occurring simultaneously), so be sure to take care of yourself and your loved ones. We all need love and care.
1. Take time for self care.
2. Check on a loved one who may be struggling with any emotion or mental health challenge, not just SAD.
References
Blumenthal, J. A., Smith, P. J., & Hoffman, B. M. (2012). Is Exercise a Viable Treatment for Depression? ACSMs HealthFit. https://doi/10.1249/01.FIT.0000416000.09526.eb
Leppämäki, S., Partonen, T., & Lönnqvist, J. (2002). Bright-light exposure combined with physical exercise elevates mood. Journal of Affective Disorders, 72(2), 139–144. https://doi/10.1016/s0165-0327(01)00417-7
Terman, M., Terman, J. S., Quitkin, F. M., McGrath, P. J., Stewart, J. W., & Rafferty, B. (1989). Light therapy for Seasonal Affective Disorder. Neuropsychopharmacology, 2(1), 1–22. https://doi/10.1016/0893-133x(89)90002-x
Whiteman, H. (2014). Researchers link vitamin D deficiency to seasonal affective disorder. Medical News Today. Retrieved from https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/286496.php#1
Youngstedt, S. D., Kline, C. E., Elliot, J. A., Zielinski, M. R., Devlin, T. M., & Moore, T. A. (2016). Circadian Phase-Shifting Effects of Bright Light, Exercise, and Bright Light Exercise. Journal of Circadian Rhythms, 14(1). https://doi/10.5334/jcr.137
Aubrey-Dawn Palmer was born and raised in Farmington, New Mexico, and she has a bachelor’s degree in family studies from Brigham Young University. She has two younger brothers and is married to her best friend, Richard. In addition to her research on relationships, human attachment, and healthy sexuality, Aubrey-Dawn volunteers with her husband as a teacher for the Strengthening Families Program, is a research director for a counseling center, and works as a home counselor at a residential treatment center.
There are a lot of opinions out there about singleness. From books, to movies, to research, to your parents; if you’re a single person, or have ever been a single person, you’ve been there (or are there), wading through a myriad of self-doubt and endless conversations with your friends about what the heck you’re doing wrong.
While it might be easier to write a long list of complaints and frustrations about dating and singlehood, it is my hope to offer some suggestions and guidance to make navigating the massive volcano of singleness a little bit easier. These are three areas that I work on remembering when the fears and frustrations about being single start to creep in.
1. Stop playing the comparison game.
We hear of the dangers of comparison all the time, but why exactly can it be so dangerous? One reason is that comparison is usually inaccurate. We often compare our worst moments to someone else’s best. We take someone else’s relationship at face value, rather than realizing that while romantic relationships can be an incredible well of happiness, being in one doesn’t automatically make it fulfilling or make one happy.
Photo by Chad Madden on Unsplash
There are further dangers in playing the comparison game. In a study by Swallow and Kuiper (1988), they theorized that certain distorted views of the self may arise and be maintained by social comparison. They found evidence that social comparison, that is, using “social information to evaluate [one’s] own abilities and opinions,” can increase depressive symptoms in an individual.
It is especially easy in the current social climate to compare. An increase in the use and availability of social media can make it seem like everyone else is ahead of you, more attractive than you, happier than you, and more successful than you.
A few keys to beating the comparison game? Remind yourself that life isn’t a competition and that you aren’t seeing the whole picture. Work on practicing gratitude for your life and the beautiful things in it. If social media is really getting you down, make a goal to take a break from it for a while.
2. It’s okay to be sad.
Anyone who has talked with me at length knows that I am a big fan of letting yourself feel things. We weren’t made to be happy all the time. It’s such an unrealistic standard. Sometimes being single when we want to be in a relationship is really hard. We struggle and try and it seems fruitless. We see friends and family members get engaged and married and feel keenly the desire to have those same experiences. We want to love and to be loved. Those are worthy and healthy desires.
So, am here to tell you it’s okay to be sad about being single. It’s okay to feel frustrated with dating. It’s okay to think this article you’re reading is dumb and unhelpful. Letting ourselves feel what we feel without judgment, can help us move past those feelings and use them more productively.
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A current form of therapy used by a variety of mental health professionals is called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or ACT. The goal of ACT is not to eliminate difficult feelings, but to sit with them, and work with them. Accepting where you are, here and now, can be incredibly freeing. So, if you need to spend an evening with a bucket of ice-cream wondering why this is so hard, go for it, remembering that what matters at the end of the day is getting up and trying again tomorrow.
3. Romantic relationships aren’t the only ones worth having.
Society loves to put romantic relationships on a pedestal. They become the end all be all of movies, music, and television. Now, I love a good chick-flick every now and then. I also love LOVE. I am in no way disparaging the importance and benefits of romantic relationships and the levels of intimacy they can reach.
However, it’s easy to assume that the only kind of relationships worth having are romantic ones when that is goal of nearly every protagonist in pop-culture, and pop-culture loves to leave out all the hard, disappointing, and frustrating aspects of romantic relationships. Societal and cultural expectations also put a heavy emphasis on romantic relationships, which can add to the stress of being single.
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Fostering deep and abiding platonic friendships is so important to our overall happiness and wellbeing. Demir and Davidson (2013) found that friendship consistently correlated to happiness, but not just any kind of friendships will do. They postulated that friendships where there was a fulfillment of basic psychological needs, such as connectedness with, and feeling needed by others, were more positively related to happiness.
Developing and maintaining friendships where both parties feel appreciated, needed, and supported is available to us, regardless of romantic attachment. Reach out to the people you love, ask for help and support when you need it, and remember that you are not alone on your journey.
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There are countless other aspects of being single I could continue to talk about, but I’ll leave you with a short anecdote.
Recently I was talking with a mentoring figure in my life whom I greatly respect. I was venting my frustrations with dating and expressing how hopeless finding a romantic partner can feel sometimes. As I finished expressing my concerns and fears, this wonderful mentor validated my frustrations and told me to never give up. But he wasn’t talking about never giving up on dating, he was telling me to never give up on myself. And that’s the message I’d like to leave with you, never give up on yourself. Wherever your dating journey takes you, I implore you to remember that your worth is not defined by the labels of single or taken.
Choose a non-romantic relationship to nurture and further develop this week.
References
Swallow, S. R., & Kuiper, N. A. (1988). Social comparison and negative self-evaluations: An application to depression. Clinical Psychology Review, 8(1), 55-76.
Vogel, E. A., Rose, J. P., Roberts, L. R., & Eckles, K. (2014). Social comparison, social media, and self-esteem. Psychology of Popular Media Culture, 3(4), 206.
Hayes, S. C., Luoma, J. B., Bond, F. W., Masuda, A., & Lillis, J. (2006). Acceptance and commitment therapy: Model, processes and outcomes. Behaviour research and therapy, 44(1), 1-25.
Demir, M., & Davidson, I. (2013). Toward a better understanding of the relationship between friendship and happiness: Perceived responses to capitalization attempts, feelings of mattering, and satisfaction of basic psychological needs in same-sex best friendships as predictors of happiness. Journal of Happiness Studies, 14(2), 525-550.
Kaitlin Rodgers graduated with her Bachelor of Science in Sociology with a Minor in Mental Health Advocacy and Awareness from Utah State University. She is incredibly passionate about mental health and has worked with the National Alliance on Mental Illness in various capacities. In her free time, she loves to climb trees, watch way too much Youtube, read books, listen to music, and have deep conversations with her friends and family. She hopes to get a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy to reach her goal of becoming a therapist. She lives in Logan, Utah where she works on enjoying her single life to the fullest extent until she finds her mister.
Having personal boundaries is key to ensuring relationships of any type are supportive, uplifting, and respectful. Boundaries help us maintain our own needs and help us stay in-tune with ourselves. We all need boundaries – they truly pave the way for us to be at peace and maintain healthy relationships.
What even are boundaries?
First thing’s first: A boundary is not a boundary if it is hurtful. Implementing boundaries can be awkward or uncomfortable at the beginning, but fundamentally, boundaries exist to help both the person setting the boundary and the person who is “receiving” the boundary.
Boundaries are usually physical and/or emotional limits that you don’t want others to cross. They typically help you recognize the amount of time, money, or energy you can afford to give to others. Essentially, boundaries can be anything you want them to be. I know, I know, that’s not very specific, but they vary by circumstance and are set to make you feel safe. “Generally, this sense of safety evolves from having an appropriate balance of closeness or distance in the relationship and also the extent to which people involved in the relationship have dual roles (e.g., therapist and friend)” (Lord, Summers, & Turnbull, 2004). Boundaries can exist in any type of relationship – a roommate, a parent/child, romantic partners, siblings, friends, coworkers, professional/client, and more!
When I was in college, I had a roommate with very severe anxiety and depression. They attempted suicide multiple times while we were living together – and we were the only two individuals in our apartment. I got to the point where I had severe anxiety going/being home because I was so worried about my roommate. I was one of only a couple of people that they socialized with, so I felt very responsible for their well-being and assisting in their mental health. With the guidance from a mentor, I set the boundary with my roommate that if they needed to talk about deep-specifics, they would have to turn to another individual. If they were feeling suicidal, I would immediately call the on-campus emergency hotline. I also encouraged them to find a therapist better able to meet their needs. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to love and support them, because I did, but to maintain our friendship and help both of our emotional states, I had to vocalize that boundary and why I needed it.
Graphic by @the.holistic.psychologist
How do I actually set a boundary?
“Establishing appropriate boundaries is a skill that requires a lot of thought and practice” (Cosio, 2014).
Here are some steps to get you started:
Be direct. Clear communication is the key to setting boundaries. As I mentioned before, it can be a little awkward to tell someone that you need space or they can’t borrow any more money from you. I would encourage you to write out your reasoning in order to best be able to explain what boundary you are setting and why.
Be assertive. Almost as difficult as setting a boundary is following through on a boundary that you’ve set. It can be easy to justify why you should make an exception “just this once” or that “this’ll be the last time,” but being flaky about your needs will leave you worse off than where you started.
Have support. If the boundary that you are setting has the potential to benefit more than you and the individual you’re making a boundary with, discuss it with them beforehand. The more ideas and ways to approach a situation you have, the better. Be sure that you have someone to turn to throughout all parts of the boundary-setting process.
Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash
Internal Boundaries
Healthy internal boundaries help you to not feel responsible for the actions and feelings of others. This is not to say that we shouldn’t be aware of those around us, rather, we should have the strength to make sure we aren’t absorbing or obsessing over other people’s problems. This can be really difficult! But setting internal boundaries can help you feel empowered to set external boundaries as well.
Note: It’s easy to feel guilt or shame when setting any kind of boundaries, but sometimes I find it harder to disappoint myself than others. This guilt should be faced head-on. Usually, it means that your boundary-setting is on the right track.
In this digital age, we are always connected. You can access your work email on vacation. Your husband can text you when you’re with a friend. These days, it’s hard to devote our time, energy, and resources to just one thing. But “creating healthy boundaries helps maintain work-life balance, promote resilience, and develop stronger coping strategies” (Holowaychuk 2018). It takes time and practice, but it is an important life skill to have.
Write a personal mission statement. What are you dedicated to? Even if you don’t feel like you have any boundaries to set, this can help you to evaluate whether or not worrying about others’ emotions and problems is holding you back from what you expect from your life.
References
Cook, J. L., Jones, R. M., & Vaterlaus, J. M. (2017). Drawing the line: An exploratory study of single college student perceptions of marital boundaries in opposite sex relationships. Marriage & Family Review, 53(2), 151–165. https://doi-org.erl.lib.byu.edu/10.1080/01494929.2016.1186771
McKay Strong is from Texas. She graduated from Brigham Young University with a Bachelor of Science in Family Life. A super experienced wife of a year, McKay works full-time at a local nonprofit and has more side hustles than she should (she still doesn’t know what she’s doing with her life). She is a proud Ravenclaw and an even more proud cat mom. McKay is passionate about self-love, body positivity, healthy sexuality, and breaking the stigma against mental illnesses. Also, Harry Potter.
For as many different ways as there are to self-care, there are just as many different excuses that people come up with for why they don’t self-care. The three most common that I have encountered are these:
“I don’t need it, I’m doing fine.” If you are using this as an excuse to not self-care, then you either don’t understand what self-care is, or you are lying to yourself. Believe it or not, self-care is actually not just a want, it is a NEED. A lot of people misconstrue self-care for a general “treat yo’self” attitude where you just do whatever you want whenever you want. While treating yourself to something you love or crave can certainly be a part of self-care, that is not all that it means. Self-care is taking an active role in protecting, preserving, and improving one’s own health, well-being, and happiness (Lexico, 2019). It is what keeps us living, growing, and thriving. We ALL need self-care, even during the times in our life when we are doing well, so please don’t make the mistake of thinking it’s not for you!
“I feel like I’m being selfish.”Friends, self-care is NOT selfish! When all we do is give constantly, it can leave us feeling drained and burned out. Self-care is what fills our cup so that we can then go on and give to others. Of course, it is important to find a balance between giving and receiving, and of course, anything good can be misused or extorted when pushed to an extreme. It’s important to discover that balance for yourself as an individual and to be true to your own needs and the needs of your loved ones.
“I just don’t have time!”Between work, school, kids, social life, housekeeping, etc., it can feel like there is never enough time to do what is required of us, much less to take time for self-care. This is the excuse that I most what to address today because it is one that I know many people struggle with and because there are really some easy fixes that can help us move past the time-crunches, and into caring for ourselves in healthy and important ways.
Here are a few research-supported suggestions I have to help you find time for self-care:
Photo from pexels.com
Make your own time
This sounds impossible, but I promise it’s a lot simpler than you might think. For this suggestion, I want you to think specifically about your personal relationship with technology in your daily life. Did you know that the average human spends 41% of their time in front of a screen!? THAT’S MORE THAN WE SLEEP. If you currently believe that you do not have time for self-care, take just 2 or 3 days to track how much time you are spending in front of a screen – scrolling through social media, watching Netflix, reading the latest celeb gossip, etc. You can use an app, or keep track of it on paper. Next, consciously replace that screen-time with some intentional self-care. I can guarantee that you will find at least five minutes in your day to spend taking care of yourself.
If you do this and are still struggling to find time to take care of you, here is what I suggest: practice self-care FIRST. This can be hard and feel selfish, but when you take the time to physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually care for yourself first, you may be surprised how much more energy and motivation you have to get done what else needs to be done.
Note: For some people, scrolling through social media or watching Netflix is actually part of their self-care. That is okay! Just make sure you are being intentional about the time you are spending in front of a screen, and be sure that if you are including it in your self-care, it is actually renewing you.
Self-care for different situations
While re-purposing unneeded screen-time can help you make more time for self-care, it can still be difficult to juggle everything that needs to get done throughout the day and carve out intentional time for nourishing, restoring, and reconnecting with yourself. The good news is, self-care doesn’t just mean spending an hour doing at-home yoga or meditation! It is possible to do some self-care at work, while parenting, while waiting in line at the grocery store, etc. Here are some things you can do in every-day situations to care for yourself:
Practice being mindful
Listen to music that inspires you
Go outside
Try doing some yoga at your desk (here’s a great video for that)
Eat a snack (something that nourishes you – you decide what this means)
Organize your physical space
Look for something new to learn
Stretch
Make an effort to talk with someone around you (connection can be so revitalizing!)
Laugh
Practice communicating your needs and setting healthy boundaries (with your children, co-workers, roommates, etc.)
Self-care looks different for everyone, so get creative with this one. What do YOU need to recharge? Think outside the box!
Photo by Allie Smith on Unsplash
A little goes a long way
You don’t have to spend hours every day doing self-care in order to reap its many benefits. Taking even just 10 minutes a day to intentionally nourish, restore, and re-connect can help you find balance and a more whole and complete health in every aspect of your life. In particular, taking a little time to care for yourself will go a long way in your relationships. The more you work to fill your emotional/physical/mental/spiritual/etc. well, the more YOU there will be to give and share with those you love. The key is to find what forms of self-care are particularly relevant and effective for you. If you aren’t sure what those are, try some of the suggestions from “Self-Care Bully” Reva Cook at the tail end of her HHP guest post here. Start with just a little bit of personalized self-care a day, and watch your capacity for connection and giving increase ten-fold.
I know that making time for yourself can be hard – especially in today’s world. But in order for you to not just survive, but THRIVE in your life and in your relationships, daily self-care is critical. So for all you busy humans out there, stop with the excuses! Make time for self-care because you (and everyone you love) are worth it.
This week, replace 10 minutes a day of screen-time with self-care time.
Mills, J., Wand, T., & Fraser, J. A. (2018). Exploring the meaning and practice of self-care among palliative care nurses and doctors: a qualitative study. BMC palliative care, 17(1), 63. doi:10.1186/s12904-018-0318-0
Stockwell, Angie. (2017). Effectiveness of Self-Care in Reducing Symptoms of Secondary Traumatic Stress. Retrieved from Sophia, the St. Catherine University repository website: https://sophia.stkate.edu/msw_papers/797
Rian Nicole Gordon is from Orem, Utah, and graduated from Brigham Young University with a Bachelor of Science in Family Life and Human Development. She has been married to her best friend Mark for five years, and they have two beautiful children, one boy and one girl. Apart from her full-time job as a stay-at-home mom, she works for The Dibble Institute, which specializes in relationship education for youth.
Practice mindfulness around your relationship thoughts this week. Study the thinking errors, and pick the one you’d like to work on. As fear arises in the mind walk yourself through your thoughts and feelings by asking yourself the questions in the “be brave” section above. Repeat this de-escalation process until it’s a habit. 
Kaitlin Rodgers graduated with her Bachelor of Science in Sociology with a Minor in Mental Health Advocacy and Awareness from Utah State University. She is incredibly passionate about mental health and has worked with the National Alliance on Mental Illness in various capacities. In her free time, she loves to climb trees, watch way too much Youtube, read books, listen to music, and have deep conversations with her friends and family. She hopes to get a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy to reach her goal of becoming a therapist. She lives in Logan, Utah where she works on enjoying her single life to the fullest extent until she finds her mister.
