Mindfulness and Connection in a Digital Age

Cover photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

Written by Emma Smith

The Digital Pandemic

Everywhere we look there are screens; especially since “everywhere” lately has been relatively confined to our homes. We’ve done the deep cleaning, the organizing, and we’ve tried picking up that new hobby. When all else fails, TVs, laptop computers, desktop computers, cell phones, and tablets are our connection to the world in this seemingly endless quarantine state and these screened devices are quickly becoming our world. 
Children, teens, and college students alike are attending school online and spending hours in front of screens. Many adults as well are working from home via computer screens. When the school work is over, Netflix, Hulu, Disney+, all other streaming services, and a wide array of video games provide endless hours of entertainment all through screens. With the indefinite continuance of quarantine, how are we to balance it all and remain mindful and connected to family and friends rather than retreating into solitude with our respective screens?
Photo by Tatiana Syrikova from Pexels
The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry found that children ages 8-12 in the U.S. spent an average of 4-6 hours in front of a screen every day (AACAP, 2020). The same study found that teens spend up to 9 hours in front of a screen daily (AACAP, 2020) and according to the market-research group Nielsen, adults spend around 11 hours per day in front of screens (2018). We are, or rather were, spending anywhere between 25 and 50% of our days in front of screens before Covid. We can only assume that the percentage is now higher. We need to take a step back and either unplug or mindfully view media as a family.

The Symptoms

For further context: research on media and its effects on people, children especially, has shown that media, particularly violent media, can have adverse effects. High amounts of screen time in general have shown to be a contributing factor to physical issues like poor diet, obesity, and diminished sleep (Domingues-Montanari, 2017). Viewing particularly violent media has been linked to an increase in aggressive behavior in it’s viewers (Coyne et al., 2008; Gentile et al., 2010). In conjunction with these less than desirable effects, there’s individual effects. In my personal experience since the beginning of quarantine and my increase in screen time, I’ve experienced more frequent headaches, more physical sluggishness, and, depending on the show I’m binge watching, less motivation to do my other tasks. I’m sure that personal evaluation will reveal similar or other effects. 
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

How to Treat It

Luckily, research has shown that media can be used as a positive and even unifying force in families. “Co-viewing” or enjoying movies, tv shows, video games, and other various forms of media together as a family can create shared memories and common ground (Broderick, 1993; Galvin et al., 2006). These shared memories and common ground create a base for family discussions and even inside jokes. Purposefully taking the time to make media viewing a family experience will increase family unity and help us to be more mindful about our media consumption.
Growing up, my family enjoyed watching movies like The Princess Bride and the old movie The Great Race with Tony Curtis and Jack Lemon. These frequent family watches resulted in an endless stream of family jokes that we still enjoy today. Now with my husband we derive from shows like Parks and Rec and playing video games together like Lego Harry Potter. These co-viewing or co-enjoying experiences strengthen family relationships and give shared meaning to conversations and jokes. 
Photo by August de Richelieu from Pexels
Understandably, not all media viewing experiences can be shared. Just with my husband and I, if we were to share all our media viewing with our online classes, reading, studying, and down time…. Well, then we would never sleep. What matters though, is that leisurely media watching is done together and becomes strengthening to the relationship. We must be mindful of our media usage. We can continue working and studying but when we turn to media for a break from all the work, we need to include those we love.
Option 1: Keep track of how much time you spend in front of a screen for one week and then think of ways you can cut back.
Option 2: Replace individual screen time with family tv, movie, or video game time for one week.

 

References

AACAP. (2020, February). Screen Time and Children. https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Children-And-Watching-TV-054.aspx
Broderick, C. B. (1993). Understanding family process: basics of family systems theory. Sage.
Coyne, S. M., Nelson, D. A., Lawton, F., Haslam, S., Rooney, L., Titterington, L., … Ogunlaja, L. (2008). The effects of viewing physical and relational aggression in the media: Evidence for a cross-over effect. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 44(6), 1551–1554. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2008.06.006 
Galvin, K. M., Dickson, F. C., & Marrow, S. R. (2006). Systems Theory: Patterns and (W)holes in Family Communication. Engaging Theories in Family Communication: Multiple Perspectives Engaging Theories in Family Communication: Multiple Perspectives, 309–324. https://doi.org/10.4135/9781452204420.n20 
Gentile, D. A., Coyne, S., & Walsh, D. A. (2010). Media violence, physical aggression, and relational aggression in school age children: a short-term longitudinal study. Aggressive Behavior, 37(2), 193–206. https://doi.org/10.1002/ab.20380 

 

 


Emma Smith is from San Diego, California. Emma is currently a Family Life major with an emphasis in social work at BYU. She met her best friend and husband Dallin at BYU her first semester home from her mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She enjoys horseback riding, swimming, reading, painting, and anything outdoors. In everything she does, she has one goal: to help others.
Continue Reading

Practical Parenting Tips for Media Usage

Written by Mariah Ramage
In a world filled with media, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed. There are so many options for what to watch, listen to, or read, and technology allows for so many different ways to access those options. Media and technology are also constantly evolving. The internet, smartphones, tablets, internet-connected televisions — none of these options even existed just a few decades ago. As a parent, it can feel like a daunting task to both keep up with the changes and to help children navigate the media world safely.
Media usage has both benefits and risks. It can be a great way to connect with friends and get needed support when you are struggling. It can be used to raise awareness of important issues around the world. It also allows for new ideas, research, and other information to be shared between millions and even billions of people.
On the other hand, overuse has been linked to obesity and poor sleep. Preoccupation with media usage can lead children to disengage with real-life, with regards to both in-person relationships as well as responsibilities like schoolwork. There are also the online dangers of cyberbullying and sexting, which can have severe consequences for a child’s mental health.
So parents, where do you even start? Here are some tips on how you as a parent can help your children get the best out of media:

1. Awareness of content.

There is both good and bad content available in all forms of media. Rating systems exist, but let’s be realistic here: they’re confusing. They aren’t standardized across different types of media, and it’s not always clear what a specific rating means. This means you need to be familiar with exactly what your child is being exposed to, not just what the rating is. One website that makes this easier is Common Sense Media: You can get details on educational value, positive messages, positive role models and representations, violence and scariness, sexual content, language, consumerism, and drinking, drugs, and even smoking. You can read reviews from parents and children including age suggestions. My favorite part about this site is that it includes all media types – movies, TV, YouTube, books, games, apps, and websites – some of which don’t even have official rating systems.
  • An extra tip for when ratings actually do come in handy: For TV shows, every episode is rated separately. So while you might approve of a show in general, there might be an episode or two you would want to avoid. To know which ones, it’s useful to know what the content labels mean for TV shows:

TV_Ratings

2. Limits for children ages 0-5 years old.

While the growing brains of this age group makes it so they may learn how to use smart devices (perhaps even quicker than you did), they also don’t have the ability yet to tell the difference between the real world and the digital world. And so, the American Academy of Pediatrics has very specific recommendations for technology use:
  • Limit screen use to video-chat only for children under 2 years old.
  • Limit screen use to 1 hour a day of high-quality media for children 2-5, and watch with your children to help explain things and apply it to the real world for them. They still don’t know a lot about the world, so while the connections may seem obvious to you, they could use some explanations. One particularly good program for this age is Sesame Street – they use research to make sure their episodes are developmentally appropriate!
baby-boy-child-159533
Photo from pexels.com

3. Limits for children age 6 years old and up.

For older children and teenagers, it is important to have consistent limits for time spent on media and the types of media used. When in doubt, make sure kids have enough time for sleep, physical activity, schoolwork, chores, etc. and then let media fill in the gaps. When media goes first, you risk not having enough time for the things important to health and real life responsibilities. Also, know how to use the parental controls on your devices and streaming sites, like Netflix, to limit exposure to inappropriate content. If you’re unsure how to use them, try Googling it – you are most likely not the only one who has had that question.

4. Media-free zones and times.

Media is pervasive and can be invasive. Help your children by providing times and spaces for them to disconnect. There are different options for how this can look in your family, such as phone-free family dinners or a TV-free playroom. In particular, devices and TVs should be kept out of bedrooms when children should be getting ready for bed and sleeping. This will help limit how media use impacts sleep and decrease unsupervised/unmonitored media use.
three people having a toast on table
Photo by Pablo Merchán Montes on Unsplash

5. Social Media.

Facebook is just the beginning. There are new social media sites and apps popping up every day, with varying degrees of popularity. Know which ones your child is using. Make sure the privacy settings are such that strangers won’t be able to track or target your child. Explain the safety concerns with using social media and the importance of not connecting with people they haven’t met before in real life. And equally important, teach them how to behave online. It is easy to be rude online when you can’t see the other person’s face. A good standard to set is if you wouldn’t say or do it in person, you shouldn’t do it online either. Teach them that they’re never really anonymous and what they say online can last forever — so make sure it’s something that they want to stick around or it might end up haunting them.
  • Bonus Tip: Using the same social media that your child does can help you to understand what it is and what it can mean to them. And it can encourage them to think twice before posting something if they know you’re going to see it.

6. Above all, teach your child how to judge media for themselves.

You’re not always going to be able to protect them from the negativity that is out there. Start when your kids are young with age-appropriate conversations. If they see something on TV that you don’t want them to copy, use it as a conversation-starter, an opportunity to talk about why what they saw was wrong and how they should behave instead. Teach them to be active consumers – questioning and critiquing what they see, not just absorbing it.
blur-close-up-colored-pens-213015
Photo from pexels.com
There you have it. Six practical tips for parenting in the digital age. Just remember, these tips aren’t always easy to implement. No parent is perfect, and children love to push limits. You may not always be doing as well as you’d like with limiting and monitoring your children’s media usage, but you can always start again tomorrow.
And for those of you who may be wondering where to start with implementing these tips, check out the Family Media Use Plan from the American Academy of Pediatrics. You enter how old your children are, and it will walk you through the steps of deciding what boundaries you want to set for your children’s (and your own) media usage.
References
American Academy of Pediatrics Announces New Recommendations for Children’s Media Use. (2016, October 21). Retrieved from https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/Pages/American-Academy-of-Pediatrics-Announces-New-Recommendations-for-Childrens-Media-Use.aspx
Media Use in Children and Adolescents. (2017, October 24). Retrieved from https://www.hopkinsallchildrens.org/ACH-News/General-News/Media-Use-in-Children-and-Adolescents
Family Media Use Plan. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.healthychildren.org/English/media/Pages/default.aspx
Common Sense Media. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.commonsensemedia.org/
TV Parental Guidelines. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://rating-system.wikia.com/wiki/TV_Parental_Guidelines

 

 


me

Mariah Ramage was born and raised in Bellevue, Washington with two older brothers. She graduated from Brigham Young University with a Bachelor of Science in Family Life and Human Development, and she is currently living in the Seattle area. Mariah is currently experiencing the joys of being a nanny to three-year-old boy-girl twins while she prepares to pursue graduate work in Human Development and Family Studies. She is passionate about mental health, abuse recovery, purposeful parenting, and healthy media usage.
Continue Reading