The moment that my husband and I held our daughter in our arms for the very first time was a moment that changed us to the very core. Not only was a sweet baby girl born that day, but a mother and father were born as well.
When you become a parent, you realize that forevermore someone else’s well-being is far more important than your own. You realize that as a parent you are going to give more than even seems possible… but also that you are going to experience more joy than you ever imagined.
Here at the Healthy Humans Project, we are passionate about empowering parents and equipping them with tools to help their children thrive. Research is clear that the better parents understand child development, the more likely they are to engage in positive parenting practices that will help their children thrive emotionally, physically, socially, and cognitively.
Past research has demonstrated that “children who [have] parents who monitor their behavior, [are] consistent with rules and [are] warm and affectionate, [are] more likely to have close relationships with their peers, be more engaged in school, and have better self-esteem.” (2009) Furthermore, children who experience positive parenting are more likely to in turn practice positive parenting and general relationship skills as they go on to have their own families. (Kerr, 2009) Although our children will each make their own choices, as parents we play a crucial role in providing our children with an environment where they can experience optimal development. And our choice to be intentional about the way we parent our children has the potential to affect generations to come.
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Not only does our ability to parent affect our children and who they will choose to become, it also has the power to mold and shape who WE are. Interacting with, and working to teach, love, and nourish our children brings more of a capacity for learning, for patience, for ingenuity, for LOVE than we ever thought possible. As we actively and intentionally working towards becoming better parents, our own personal growth and development will continue as well.
I love Rose Kennedy’s view on parenting when she said, “I looked on child rearing not only as a work of love and duty but as a profession that was fully as interesting and challenging as any honorable profession in the world and one that demanded the best that I could bring to it.” While we will certainly make mistakes along the way, each day we can resolve to bring the best we can to our parenting. As we go about this great work of shaping souls, each of us has the choice to leave negative parenting practices in the past and choose a better way to parent our children.
And so, to my little girl whose eyes I gazed into for the first time just nine short months ago, my greatest hope for you is that in our home you will be loved, seen, heard, and taught. And my greatest hope for myself is that each day I will choose to bring the best of myself to my parenting.
This week, take some time to reflect on your current parenting practices. What are you doing well? What is something you would like to improve? Write down your thoughts and any goals you may want to implement.
References
Gadsden, V. L., Ford, M., & Breiner, H. (2016). Parenting matters: supporting parents of children ages 0-8. The National Academies Press.
Kerr, D. C. R., Capaldi, D. M., Pears, K. C., & Owen, L. D. (2009). A prospective three generational study of fathers’ constructive parenting: Influences from family of origin, adolescent adjustment, and offspring temperament. Developmental Psychology, 45(5), 1257–1275. https://doi-org.erl.lib.byu.edu/10.1037/a0015863
Parent, J., Dale, C. F., McKee, L. G., & Sullivan, A. D. W. (2021). The longitudinal influence of caregiver dispositional mindful attention on mindful parenting, parenting practices, and youth psychopathology. Mindfulness, 12(2), 357–369. https://doi-org.erl.lib.byu.edu/10.1007/s12671-020-01536-x
Aubrey Hartshorn is from Weiser, Idaho. She is happily married to her husband Joseph and is the proud mamma of a beautiful little girl. She recently graduated from Brigham Young University with a degree in Family Studies. She is passionate about mindfulness, minimalism, and motherhood.
