Written by Shirley Anderson
When good things happen to us, we inevitably want to share it with others. This is a social process known as capitalization. This process includes the individual sharing their good news (capitalizers) and the person(s) to whom they retell their news (responders) (Peters, et al., 2018). No matter which role you play in this social process, the positive outcomes are equally beneficial.
If you’re like me, celebrating the successes of others comes easy. However, I typically lack the vulnerability necessary to share my own successes with others. Previous to researching the art of celebration, I would’ve seen sharing my good news with others as ‘tooting my own horn’ or bragging. In reality, by withholding my good news or cause for celebration, I am limiting the potential of creating a celebration and positivity cycle that is mutually beneficial for myself and all those around me.
The Celebration and Positivity Cycle
If you have something positive to share, you already experience a mood boost from your success. This great feeling only increases when you share your good news with others, allowing them to experience a similar mood boost. I like to call this, the celebration and positivity cycle. The more you share positive information, the happier you’ll be. Likewise, you’re giving someone the opportunity to relish in that same positivity.
So where does this happiness come from? Is it the actual good news, the retelling of the news or hearing the news that generates this happiness? The answer is ALL OF THE ABOVE! In fact, this positivity cycle is so contagious that you don’t even have to be friends with someone to experience the benefits of celebration. In a recent study, psychologists found that capitalizers and responders both experienced increased positivity in regardless of whether or not they had an existing relationship (Conoley, et al., 2015). This means the positive benefits derived from capitalization are not exclusive to just close relationships, but that friends and strangers alike have equal potential to engage in the celebration and positivity cycle. We all benefit from good news, no matter the source!
Threats to the Cycle
In order to continue receiving the benefits of celebration, we need to understand possible threats to the cycle. The biggest threat to our continued happiness is low‐self‐esteem and the adverse feelings that often accompany it (jealousy, insecurity, resentment..etc.). Self-esteem mediates our perception and can distort reality if we don’t have a favorable relationship with ourselves. Research indicates that individuals with low‐self‐esteem perceive less partner enthusiasm about their good news, while those with high‐self‐esteem perceive more partner enthusiasm (Reis, et al., 2012). How celebrated we feel is directly linked to our self‐esteem. The more comfortable we feel with ourselves, the more validated we feel by others in our celebration.
Practice being vulnerable and share your good news with someone! Consider how you feel others received it as this may reflect your own level of self‐esteem.
References
Peters, B. J., Reis, H. T., & Gable, S. L. (2018). Making the good even better: A review and theoretical model of interpersonal capitalization. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 12(7), e12407. https://doi.org/10.1111/spc3.12407
Reis, Harry T., Smith, Shannon M. (2012). Perceived Responses to Capitalization Attempts are Influenced by Self-Esteem and Relationship Threat. Journal of the International Association for Relationship Research, 19(2), 367–385. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2011.01367.x
1 Comment
Hi Shirley,
It’s interesting to me to see communication processes broken down in this way. Perhaps (at least for me ) the most interesting thing in your post is the concept of a good relationship with ourselves. I think that such a relationship is the key to successful life relationships with others. Quiet love of oneself allows us to love others. Thanks for posting.