It seems that we are constantly being bombarded with bad news; there was a school shooting. A hurricane hit harder than we initially thought. A beloved former teacher died. It’s an unfortunate fact of life that tragedy will strike, and sometimes, it’ll strike without warning.
I have had my fair share of heartbreak — as I’m sure we all have — and despite the agonizing, unbearable pain that I’ve experienced, I have slowly come to accept that there are benefits to tragedy. Believe me, this is not me asking for more suffering to come my way (please, no), but I have seen myself and those around me grow and become closer because of the trials we’ve faced together.
When it comes to dealing with tragedy, individuals often possess their own spiritual and cultural traditions, which play a large part in the coping process (Aranda & Knight 1997). It’s not unusual for people to ask “why us?” or “who is to blame?” In order to fully gain perspective while experiencing tragedy, we need to make sense of the traumatic event and be aware of any repercussions that may come as a result (Walsh 2007).
Photo by Lina Trochez on Unsplash
Through a traumatic event, however, it is essential to maintain a positive outlook. Hope is vital for recovery. Hope fuels energies and investment to rebuild lives, revise dreams, renew attachments, and create positive legacies to pass on to future generations (Walsh 2007). Being able to trust in the future and trust in yourself will help facilitate the feeling of security to return back into your life.
The Power of Resilience
The semester after we suddenly lost my sister, I took a class called Family Adaptation and Resiliency. I chose this course very purposefully — I had always planned on taking it, but I knew that I needed it sooner rather than later. Throughout the course of the semester, we read about and walked through just about every tragedy that a family could experience. Divorce, death, natural disaster, job loss and other financial strains…the list goes on and on. No matter the stressor, however, it was drilled into my head that families could recover. Not only that, but families could end up stronger than they were before. This is the true meaning of resilience: not only bouncing back but using these difficulties to improve relationships as well.
Resilience isn’t limited to an individual or a family, however. It can be seen in a community as well! So many tragedies strike on a larger scale, and through an intentional response to trials, an entire community — a city, a state, a nation — can be brought together. Although arguably none of us want to go through tragedy, it’s important to remember that when hard things happen, we have a choice. We can choose to be stuck in the tragedy, or we can choose to work towards resilience and draw closer together. Through tragedy, a family or community system can become more refined than ever before. “Resilience involves ‘mastering the possible,’ coming to accept what has been lost and cannot be changed, while directing efforts to what can be done and seizing opportunities for something good to come out of the tragedy” (Murphy, Johnson, & Lohan 2002). Achieving resilience is not a simple task, but through communication and being aware of needs and emotions, it is possible.
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Studies have found that one of the most important ways to foster acceptance and hope following a tragedy is the ability to seek comfort and reassurance with others. Walsh put it best when he said, “Times of great tragedy can bring out the best in the human spirit: ordinary people show extraordinary courage, compassion, and generosity in helping kin, neighbors, and strangers to recover and rebuild lives.”
Tips for fostering community resilience:
Acknowledge the trauma and verify facts
Find meaning through memorial rituals, tributes, etc.
Rebuild lives, homes, etc. through community reorganization
Create new life plans and dreams
Journal about a tragedy you have experienced in your life, and how it has affected who you are today. If you feel comfortable opening up, seek out members of your community that could use your support and personal experience in their own healing process.
References
Manyena, Bernard, et al. “Disaster resilience: a bounce back or bounce forward ability?.” Local Environment: The International Journal of Justice and Sustainability 16.5 (2011): 417-424.
Aranda, M. P., & Knight, B. G. (1997). The influence of ethnicity and culture on the caregiver stress and coping process: A sociocultural review and analysis. The Gerontologist, 37(3), 342-354.
Murphy, S. A., Johnson, L. C., & Lohan, J. (2002). The aftermath of the violent death of a child: An integration of the assessments of parents’ mental distress and PTSD during the first 5 years of bereavement. Journal of Loss and Trauma, 7(3), 203–222. https://doi-org.erl.lib.byu.edu/10.1080/10811440290057620
Walsh, F. (2007). Traumatic Loss and Major Disasters: Strengthening Family and Community Resilience. Family Process, 46(2), 207–227. https://doi-org.erl.lib.byu.edu/10.1111/j.1545-5300.2007.00205.x
McKay Strong is from Texas. She graduated from Brigham Young University with a Bachelor of Science in Family Life. A super experienced wife of a year, McKay works full-time at a local nonprofit and has more side hustles than she should (she still doesn’t know what she’s doing with her life). She is a proud Ravenclaw and an even more proud cat mom. McKay is passionate about self-love, body positivity, healthy sexuality, and breaking the stigma against mental illnesses. Also, Harry Potter.
Journal about a tragedy you have experienced in your life, and how it has affected who you are today. If you feel comfortable opening up, seek out members of your community that could use your support and personal experience in their own healing process.
