commUNITY – Why It Matters

Opinion Piece Written by Aubrey-Dawn Palmer

It has been said that “it takes a village to raise a child.” However, as it turns out, it also takes a village to raise, nurture, and mold an adult! The communities to which we belong throughout our lives have a vast impact on how we connect and relate to those around us. We NEED to feel like we belong to some sort of community in order to thrive as healthy humans. That is why we have decided to create this new category as a place to focus on how we fit into our larger community, how our communities impact us, and how we can strengthen our relationship with our “village”.

How do I fit into my community?

Reflect. Do you take your children to school every day? Are you involved in volunteer work? Do you affiliate with a political organization? Everyone’s place within their community is different, and sometimes within our large community, we belong to religious communities, support groups, volunteer organizations, etc. If you don’t feel that you have a place in your community, then now is a perfect time to start working on it.

What can I do to connect with those around me in a more meaningful way?

Lots of things! There are so many volunteer opportunities in your area. Guaranteed. Sometimes you just have to know where to look. Foster care and children’s homes, soup kitchens, hospitals, and nursing homes are great places to start. More simply, the person bagging your groceries, the banker and the mailman are all people that inadvertently impact your life. When was the last time you had a real conversation with one of them? Connecting with people is simply to choose to see them as people with feelings, problems, talents, hopes and fears as real as yours and then taking action.

Why it is important to have a sense of community?

Taking action can be so small. It really is just about brief moments of connection. Those brief moments add up to change the lives of others, but also to change our own lives. They result in a greater sense of self worth and efficacy, a decrease in loneliness, depression and anxiety, and a more positive outlook on life. Connecting with others helps us look beyond ourselves.

More than that, the world is a place full of beauty, but also with a great deal of pain and loss. Everyone is fighting a battle and has a unique story. On an individual level, we all need to feel loved and appreciated, and connecting with people in our community contributes greatly to that. On a larger scale, community outreach and service creates a healthier, safer environment for children to learn and grow, the economy to survive, and families and individuals to succeed and thrive. It also increases personal accountability. When we each take accountability for the part we play in our community, we become a strong, unified group that can be an incredible force for good. I have seen this time and time again in my own life.

The world, and maybe even my immediate community, is a messed up place already. Why even bother?

That attitude contributes to the ‘messed up’ parts of the world! We ARE our community. Our community is a reflection of who we are, and we are a reflection of what our community looks like. A community that does no good, is filled with people who are unwilling to step up and do good. A community that is unified is full of people who strive for unity and contribute something of themselves in order to bring that about. Communities that promote change are filled with courageous people willing to step out of their comfort zones and do something for the greater good; not only for themselves but also for others. We “bother” because we care. We “bother” because if we believe that something is wrong, we take the initiative and work to change it. If something remains broken or messed up, it is only because people will not rally together and take the time and care required to fix it.

So where do I start?

Well, the beauty is that we will be addressing this topic periodically in the future in this new commUNITY category. For now, think about what kinds of things you love to do. Maybe you love to cook, or you love yard work. Perhaps you love to talk with people. What kinds of skills you have? Maybe you have medical training, or maybe you are a good listener. Perhaps you are great at persuading others to contribute or step up to the plate. Then, think about how your passions and your skills can combine to make a difference in your community. And maybe while you’re thinking about that, you can donate blood. Or even do a Google search on volunteer opportunities in your area. Perhaps you can take a walk and get to know a neighbor, and help her clean out her flower bed, or offer to take a busy dad’s kids for a couple of hours so he can clean his kitchen and get a good nap. The possibilities are endless. The skill is learning to SEE the need, and then using that skill to reach out and connect.

This week, reach out in some small way to your community. Check out the suggestions above if you need ideas! You can also click here to search for current service opportunities in your area.

Aubrey-Dawn Palmer was born and raised in Farmington, New Mexico, and she has a bachelor’s degree in family studies from Brigham Young University. She has two younger brothers and is married to her best friend, Richard. In addition to her research on relationships, human attachment, and healthy sexuality, Aubrey-Dawn volunteers with her husband as a teacher for the Strengthening Families Program, is a research director for a counseling center, and works as a home counselor at a residential treatment center.