Think of a great day you’ve had recently. What activities and tasks did you do that day? What made it great? Why did you enjoy your day, or feel fulfilled?
I did this exercise a couple years back and was surprised to find I could narrow my very good day down to three factors:
Creativity, Connection, and Movement.
I remember going for a run that morning. Later, in the middle of running errands, I had the thought to check in on a friend at work. We had a great conversation during her lunch break. Later in the day, I spent time on a creative project. By the time I was in bed that night, I felt fulfilled, satisfied, and whole. I had filled my cup.
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash
While I encourage you to find your own components of a great day, I want to share more about mine–specifically tying them to research already found in articles on the Healthy Humans Project website. As you browse the articles that stand out to you, I encourage you to look at the “Related Articles” at the bottom of each page. As you start defining your own components of a great day, I encourage you to search for those topics on the sidebar. We have so many great resources here, and this is how I’m learning more about the things that I love!
Creativity
Creativity can mean a number of things–from singing in the car to writing in your journal to doodling, learning calligraphy, playing guitar, and more. I’ve always been creative, but as I’ve gotten out of the habit, I’ve had to be more intentional about making time to create. Right now, that looks like playing guitar on Sunday nights before bed. I also attended my first Paint Night recently, which destroyed my long-time limiting belief that I couldn’t paint! From the time I was a little, creativity has brought me so much joy. Research also shows that creativity can help manage stress, decrease symptoms of depression, and help individuals manage chronic illness, among obviously countless other benefits. A particular study a few years back examined the “relationships between creative activity, affect, and flourishing.” Researchers asked participants to keep a 13-day journal where they recorded their creativity throughout the day, how they were feeling at the end of the day, and if they felt like they were “flourishing.” Results showed that on days they practiced creativity, participants felt more “enthusiastic” and “energized.” Those results don’t surprise me at all.
Photo from Unsplash
For me, it’s well worth the time and effort tokeep creativity in my life.
Here are some articles on Healthy Human Project that talk about the value of creativity in our lives:
I recently moved to a new town and for the first time, knew no one around me. Despite chatting with friends from back home on the Marco Polo app every day, I still didn’t have anyone beside me, in person, supporting me through this hard transition. At one point, I realized it had been a week since I had hugged anyone, or had any physical contact–and physical contact is SO good for us. It took weeks until I finally started to connect with people in my new town–I just needed to find that right person to reach out to for help.
Healthy Humans Project is FILLED with wisdom on finding and strengthening our relationships, both platonic and intimate. Here are just a few articles about the power of connecting with others:
Exercising has saved my life, both by temporarily and regularlyincreasing endorphins in my brain, but also by giving me purpose–I have to be committed if I’m going to wake up for early morning runs with friends, or train for and complete races. In the article “For Depression and Anxiety, Running Is a Unique Therapy” on the Runner’s World website, additional benefits of being physically active are highlighted. They include creating momentum and physical energy, providing space to process thoughts and clear brain fog, and increasing the production of beneficial chemicals in the brain. Here are some articles on Healthy Humans Project that highlight the benefits of movement and spending time outside:
The things that fill my cup may not be the things that fill your cup, but I hope my insights help you consider your own! Life is hard–and for every article about joy I’ve shared, I can share a billion more about grief, resiliency, and more. But it’s worth finding that joy in the everyday, and holding onto it. What are you going to do today to feel joy?
Find out what your favorite days are comprised of, and start doing more of those things every day. Be intentional about your happiness.
Bonus: Browse through Healthy Humans Project to learn more about the things that matter to you, the healthy habits you want to develop, and the topics you want to learn more about.
References
Conner, T. S., DeYoung, C. G., & Silvia, P. J. (2016). “Everyday creative activity as a path to flourishing.” The Journal of Positive Psychology, 13(2), as cited in Gregoire, C. (2016 December 2). Why Finding Time Each Day For Creativity Makes You Happier. Huffpost. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/creativity-happiness psychology_n_58419e0ce4b0c68e0480689a
Allie Barnes graduated from Brigham Young University with a Bachelor of Science in Family Studies, earned a certificate in Substance Use Disorder Counseling from Utah Valley University, and studied writing throughout her undergraduate career. In every professional role she’s filled since then, her focus remains the same: People.
Buddhism defines attachment as the root of all suffering. And research shows that attachment is a common factor among individuals with symptoms of depression, anxiety, resentment, suicidal ideations, stress, and low self-esteem (Bates et al., 2018). Most of us aren’t fully conscious that our obsessions keep us stuck. Before I embraced mindfulness, I thought I’d always have a void. I believed life would persist in arbitrary, empty feelings. Our inability to feel satisfied, connected, and joyful comes from our conditioning to seek outside ourselves. Nonattachment means letting go of our “fixation to ideas, images, and sensory objects and not feeling an internal pressure to acquire, hold, avoid or change” (Sahdra et al., 2010). So, in what ways are we creating our own suffering, and how can we practice a meaningful life of nonattachment?
Photo from pexels.com
What We Try to Possess, Possesses Us – Our Attachment to Things
A common area of attachment is found with our rumination of things, or materialism. Thoughts like once I have that car, home, wardrobe…then I’ll feel wanted, respected or good about myself. Materialism increases our comparison to others, discontent with our physical appearance, public self-consciousness, and feelings of inadequacy and lack (Elphinstone & Whitehead, 2019). So, why do we exhaust ourselves over having things if it doesn’t make us happy? Ironically, we attach our emotions to things outside us thinking it will ease our discomfort. Have you ever experienced a lonely night and found yourself online shopping? For a while, I attached my worth to my intellect, and thought the more books I owned the more secure I’d feel. We may experience momentary relief in our materialistic efforts, but we all know it doesn’t last. When we give things responsibility over our fulfillment, then we’ve also given up our power because our contentment is contingent upon having, rather than creating. Remember, it’s the clinging to the thing, not the enjoyment of the thing itself, that creates unnecessary suffering.
Attached vs. Connected – Our Attachments to People
Perhaps more than things, we experience many attachments in our relationships. These usually show up in the form of preconceived notions. Take the transition from the honeymoon phase to a more realistic and stable phase as an example. Couples express anxiety and disappointment as the relationship changes because they think they’re no longer in love. It’s the clinging to the euphoria of a relationship that actually keeps them from feeling happy (Bates et al., 2018). Whereas accepting what is opens them up to new ways of loving and evolving together. Is it comfortable? No. But, pining for the way it was will create resentment and limit our growth with our partners.
Aren’t we supposed to seek connection? Absolutely! We’re hard-wired for it (Brown, 2012). But, being unattached doesn’t mean you don’t care. Paradoxically letting go frees you up to love without condition, which facilitates true connection. Let’s define the difference between attachment and connection, since this can be tricky to grasp. Both are rooted in the same desires: to love and be loved. Yet, how we show up for people is a huge contrast. Attachment is based on fear and control. Connection is based on faith and letting go. Attachment encourages hiding or changing parts of ourselves. Connection is transparent and honest. Attachment feels like bondage. Connection feels like freedom. An attached person bases their emotional well-being on the behaviors of others. A connected person traces all emotional disturbances back to themselves. An attached person will see their loved ones as they “ought” to be, and resent or judge them when they inevitably fail to show up that way. A connected person sees their loved ones as they actually are, and accepts them for it. Practicing nonattachment shows increased empathy for others (Elphinstone & Whitehead, 2019). The paradox is that when we let go of our attachments we feel more connected.
Photo from pexels.com
Truthfully, most relationships have attachments. Do you expect your children to go to college? Do you expect your partner to stay with you for life? Do you expect your friend to call on your birthday? These are all attachments. Even the healthiest partnerships will experience hurt feelings and frustrations. Being unattached does not mean you don’t have needs in a relationship, but that you take ownership for those needs. Empowering yourself will help you to make loving requests of the people in your life to meet those needs, rather than entitled demands that they should. The more we can notice our own limiting thoughts about others, the greater capacity we’ll have to let go of being right and choose love instead.
“Be That Self Which One Truly Is” – Our Attachments to Identity
An ancient method for catching monkeys is to place a banana in a cage. When the animal comes along it will reach through the bars and grab the banana. A hunter will then capture the monkey effortlessly all because it won’t let go. The solution is simple: let go of the banana! This isn’t the monkey’s only source of food. It could easily let go, find food elsewhere and keep its life. But, it’s so attached to the fruit it cannot comprehend the simplicity of freedom. In what ways are we controlled simply because we won’t let go?
Photo from pexels.com
One of the strongest attachment issues we face is around our sense of self. We over-identify using outside sources to make meaning of who we are. Our attachments may be financial status, appearance and body image, popularity, achievements, number of likes and followers, religion, family background, relationship status, perceived talents and abilities, sexual desires and preferences, our youth, gender, race, nationality, addiction, mental health issues, and any other ideas of who you are. Some of us are even attached to our own suffering, or identity as a victim. It’s one thing to acknowledge all these parts of ourselves, and another to attach our sense of worth to them. The self is elusive. Our thoughts of identity aren’t who we really are. The true Self is divine. To see and accept ourselves beyond mental and social constructs is nonattachment, and nonattachment is true love.
So what if we trust life the way we trust our breathing? Our inhale provides oxygen necessary to our survival. But the exhale is just as important to rid the body of carbon dioxide. Can we be grateful for the inhale, and then let go, or exhale knowing there is more good to come? Just as there is nourishment in breath, there is nourishment in all aspects of life: work, relationships, beliefs, etc. It is when we attach to these things that we unconsciously “disturb ourselves with expectations, opinions, criticisms, and disappointments” (Adele, 2009). Trust life knowing that the nature of existence is impermanence. Just like our breathing, when held too long, that which was nourishing becomes toxic. So, let go of the banana.
Photo from pexels.com
In conclusion, having attachments isn’t good or bad. Shakespeare said, “nothing is neither good nor bad but thinking makes it so.” So the only question left is how do you want to feel? What attachments would you like to keep, and which would you like to let go of? Ask yourself, “is this attachment serving me? Does it feel light or heavy? Is it creating more joy or more suffering?” Observing and being aware of our thoughts is the first step toward enlightenment.
This Week:
Notice your breathing. Can you inhale and exhale – take in and let go, and trust that more good comes?
Look at the objects you own. Do they feel light and detached from your worth? Or do they feel heavy and bring reminders of lack or insecurity?
Notice your expectations. Are you unconsciously demanding fulfillment and comfort from people? Or are you grateful for their existence and consciously making loving requests?
Observe your feelings about the self. Can you look at all the parts that define you without judgment? Or, do you need to look/be a certain way before you love yourself?
Remember, as you start your journey of nonattachment be curious and kind. Harsh judgments will bring further suffering. Just notice your thoughts, and you’ll be on the gradual path of freedom.
References
Adele, D. (2009). The yamas & niyamas: Exploring yoga’s ethical practice. On-Word Bound Books LLC.
Bates, G., Elphinstone, B., & Whitehead, R. (2018). Stories of suffering and growth: An investigation of the lived experience of nonattachment. Contemporary Buddhism, 19(2), 448-475. https://doi-org.ezproxy.uvu.edu/10.1080/14639947.2018.1572311
Brown, C. B. (2012). Daring greatly: How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent, and lead. New York, N.Y.: Gotham.
Elphinstone, B., & Whitehead, R. (2019). The benefits of being less fixated on self and stuff: Nonattachment, reduced insecurity, and reduced materialism. Personality and Individual Differences, 149, 302-308. https://doi-org.ezproxy.uvu.edu/10.1016/j.paid.2019.06.019
Sandra, B., P. Shaver, and K. Brown. 2010. A scale to measure nonattachment: A Buddhist complement to western research on attachment and adaptive function. Journal of Personality Assessment 92 (2): 116-127. https://doi-10.1080/00223890903425960
Dray Salcido is from Elkridge, Utah. She is the youngest of seven and enjoys close relationships with her siblings. She graduated with a Bachelor of Social Work from Utah Valley University. She works at a law firm and volunteers with various populations. She enjoys researching and writing about the human experience, and hopes to make that her creative life’s work.
Many of us are familiar with Dr. Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages. These love languages represent the way we prefer to receive love in our close relationships, and include five categories: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Gifts, Physical Touch, and Quality Time. While learning and communicating our preferred love languages can be an enlightening way to unlock deeper trust and connection in our relationships with others, I have been pondering the powerful potential of how these love languages can change our relationships with ourselves.
Not all of us are in situations where people we love are frequently showing us the love we need and deserve through our preferred love language. Whether you are single, working through difficulties in your relationship, or simply living away from close friends and family, sometimes the only person that we can rely on to show us consistent and careful love is US.
Photo by Allie Smith on Unsplash
So how can we learn to better speak our love language in our relationship with ourselves? As with any other situation in which we are seeking to strengthen our communication skills, the first step involves gaining understanding, and the second, practice! In order to show yourself love in your preferred love language, you have to know what that preferred love language is! It requires a little self-awareness and a knowledge of your own needs and desires. This quiz from Dr. Chapman’s website is a great tool to help you figure out your love language if you are having trouble identifying it on your own.
* Note: Your primary love language for how you like to receive love from others may be different from how you like to receive love from yourself (what I like to call your self-love language). Try out different things, and learn what works the best for you!
After you know how you like to receive love, you have the power to start practicing showing that love to yourself! Intentionally work activities into your routine that give you time to show yourself love and compassion in the way that you like to receive it most.
Here are some ideas for how you can show yourself love in your preferred self-love language (there are lots more – get creative!):
The words we say have power – especially the ones we say to ourselves. Regardless of your preferred self-love language, each of us can benefit from speaking kinder and more loving words to ourselves! If Words of Affirmation is your preferred self-love language, these little efforts will make a big difference in strengthening your relationship with yourself.
Practice thinking kind thoughts about yourself.
Write yourself a love letter.
Listen to your favorite music, book, or poetry.
Implement positive affirmations into your daily routine.
Individuals who prefer acts of service are often very other-focused and are constantly worried about the needs of those around them. How often do you really think about your needs and do something nice for yourself? If you need someone to give you permission, then here you go!
Ask yourself what you need today, and then go do it.
Say “no” to something unnecessary on your “to-do” list.
Perform a service for someone else (alright, alright, sometimes, this is just what you need to feel a little extra love in your day!).
Giving a meaningful gift is not always about how much money it costs; it’s more about the thought that goes into getting and giving the gift. Take some time to think about your needs, and treat yourself to something that will be meaningful to you!
Budget some money each month to buy yourself a small gift.
The love language of Physical Touch is all about physical experience and connecting to your body. A great way to show yourself love in ways that relate to physical touch is by connecting to your senses, and by showing your body some extra love.
Give yourself a foot, hand, or neck massage (or splurge a little and get a professional massage). This is a great video to help guide you through some simple and relaxing self-massage!
Take a bath and be sure to use your favorite bath salts, bath bombs, or essential oils.
When you date someone else, you make sure to spend a lot of time with them so you can get to know them. But are we willing to do the same for ourselves? Spending time to re-connect with yourself and get to know who you are in the present moment can be so healing and enlightening. Take some time to get to know yourself better today!
Take yourself out on a date.
Spend some time out in nature.
Implement a meditation practice into your day.
Go on an adventure and try something you have always wanted to try.
Regardless of your situation, you deserve love, and practicing self-love is a great way to guarantee that you will get it! Get to know your preferred self-love language and start showing yourself some love more intentionally today!
Discover your self-love language, and implement one practice to show yourself some love this week.
Bunt, S., & Hazelwood, Z. J. (2017). Walking the walk, talking the talk: Love languages, self‐regulation, and relationship satisfaction. Personal Relationships, 24(2), 280–290. https://doi-org.erl.lib.byu.edu/10.1111/pere.12182
*The Healthy Humans Project is an Amazon Associate and earns from qualifying purchases. Thank you so much for supporting our efforts to improve relationships!
Rian Nicole Gordon is from Orem, Utah, and graduated from Brigham Young University with a Bachelor of Science in Family Life and Human Development. She has been married to her best friend Mark for five years, and they have two beautiful children, one boy and one girl. Apart from her full-time job as a stay-at-home mom, she works for The Dibble Institute, which specializes in relationship education for youth.
It hits when you expect it the least. It hits you walking past the baby aisle in the grocery store. It hits you driving past a cemetery. It hits when you look at photos. It hits you when a pregnancy announcement or engagement comes through on your social media feed. It hits you when the holidays come and you’re thousands of miles from family. It never really leaves, and it comes and goes.
What is Grief?
Grief is “the response to loss that contains thoughts, behaviors, emotions and physiological changes; if the loss is permanent so too is the grief, but it evolves and changes as a person adapts to the loss (The Center for Complicated Grief: Overview).” Grief, while including death, also includes any loss that one can experience. This includes losses such as miscarriage, infertility, graduating from school, relationships, moving somewhere new, and health complications, to name just a few.
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash
The “Stages” of Grief
There are no real set-in-stone stages of grief. Many of us have been taught the most well-known model of the Five Stages of Grief, however, research has gone on to show that putting grief into so-called stages can actually be incredibly damaging because not everyone will go through these specific stages. Compartmentalizing grief can create an idea of grieving wrong or incorrectly (Stroebe, Schut & Boerner, 2017). So rather than talking about stages of grief, I’m going to talk about various principles of grief drawn from these so-called stages in the next section.
Grieving
The most important thing to remember about grieving is that everyone grieves differently (Stroebe, Schut & Boerner, 2017).No two people will grieve in exactly the same way. It’s okay to grieve for things and people that others may not. It’s okay to grieve in the way that works for you. And remember while you are grieving to not compare the way you grieve to the way other people grieve.
Grief comes with a variety of different emotions. The most common emotions associated with grief are shock and disbelief, sadness, guilt, anger, and fear (Coping with Grief and Loss, 2019). These emotions are normal to feel with grief and sometimes will reappear at different points throughout grieving. Some people will experience all of these emotions, some may only experience a few, and that is okay because we all grieve differently.
Photo by Claudia Wolff on Unsplash
Grief can lead to questioning our belief-systems and understanding about life and the world. When a person dies we often ask questions like, “Why did this happen to them?” or, “Why not someone else?” or, “They were such a good person why did they have to die?” These questions are often based on ideas or belief systems such as the just-world hypothesis (the idea that when we are a good person we should only have good things happen to us). When these core beliefs are betrayed by mortality, they can be called into question, and that is OKAY. It’s okay to question and wonder why. Some will try to bargain with their higher power as part of their questioning. (Feldman, 2017)
Grief may eventually lead to acceptance. Grief helps us to come to the point of accepting both what happened and the emotions surrounding the loss as real and valid. There is no rush whatsoever to get to the point of acceptance (Feldman, 2017) and we shouldn’t feel the need to get there in a hurry.
The last point I want to make about grieving comes a little from research and from my own experience. Most people get through the hard, strong, initial grieving within about six months (DePaulo, 2019) but it’s okay if it takes longer. The initial grieving is hard and consuming but it does get easier. I say “gets easier” rather than “goes away”, because in my own life experiences I have found that grief ebbs and flows. Some days, grief shows right up and sits with me for a while. Other days it presents itself in small moments, and other days it’s virtually non-existent.
Photo by J Waye Covington on Unsplash
Coping with Grief
Just like dealing with mental illness or a physical ailment, we have to cope with grief to live our everyday lives. Here are some ideas to help with grief:
Seek support from friends and family members
Find comfort in your faith (this can be religion or spirituality in general)
Write in a journal
Embrace your feelings
Take care of your physical health
Remind yourself that your grief is yours
(Coping with Grief and Loss, 2019)
Final Thoughts
Grief is hard and it’s recurring. But it’s also an opportunity to deal with loss in the most human way possible. Grief at times may be consuming but it also provides an old friend as we go through loss throughout our life. Give yourself permission to grieve even if it’s from something from years ago in your past. It’s okay to grieve and it’s okay to re-grieve. And remember your grief is your own. Everyone will grieve differently and that’s beautiful.
Option #1: Share your thoughts about grief in your journal or on social media
Option #2: Share this post to help others learn more about grief
Stroebe, M., Schut, H., & Boerner, K. (2017). Cautioning Health-Care Professionals. OMEGA – Journal of Death and Dying, 74(4), 455–473. doi: 10.1177/0030222817691870
Anasteece Smith is a Utah native who is now living it up as a Texas girl. She is the oldest of seven children and married her sweetheart in 2018 who happened to have her same last name. She graduated from Brigham Young University with a Bachelor of Science in Family Life. In her free time, Anasteece likes to read, paint, swim, hike, camp, hammock, and do graphic design. She is passionate about mental health, healthy sexuality, family resilience, feminism, religion, and research on shame, vulnerability, and perfectionism.
For years I had felt a quiet impression that I needed to look into my family history. I’d do a bit here and there, filling in missing gaps and such on the family tree, but not much beyond that. I thought I was doing my part, thinking that as long as the names and dates are there, we’re good. The thing is, family history isn’t just about filling in gaps in a family tree—though that is a part of it.
The real joy for me came when I began reading my ancestors’ stories and really getting to know them. That’s how I first learned about Grace.
Grace is my great-great-grandmother on my mom’s side. She had four children with her husband, an engineer who designed and paved roads both in the United States and abroad. That’s the basic story, and what I had known before. But life is, of course, far more complex and far deeper than two sentences can describe. When I dove deeper into her story, it ended up changing my life.
According to second-hand accounts obtained from user-submitted stories on genealogy websites as well as some information from family members, Grace and her husband met as teenagers and she was smitten. Against her parents’ wishes, they married in 1909 when Grace was 18 years old.
Years later, shortly after their fourth child was born, her husband ended up in Utah, where he designed the roads that went through some of the National Parks in the state. While his family was back at home, her husband fell for a young woman (25 years his junior) who worked as a waitress and played in an orchestra associated with the national park. James left his family and ran off with this young woman, leaving Grace to raise their four children alone.
I immediately saw the connection to my own life and my relationships.
While I have never been married nor raised children alone, my experience with unhealthy relationships and betrayal trauma lead me to believe that Grace surely experienced a degree of both of those. Those are things I understand. And from those things, I can also assume that his betrayal and abandonment didn’t just happen overnight—there were surely red flags that led to them.
Was I continuing to ignore red flags in my own life, perpetuating this cycle of unhealthy relationships?
It was only after learning Grace’s story that I realized this is a generational issue in my family, and I have the power to break that cycle.
The Research
I thought that doing family history work benefited my deceased family members as I sought to remember and record their lives. I had no idea I would find myself in their stories, and that they would influence my own life in such a monumental way.
When interviewed by CNN, author A.J. Jacobs shared the benefits of teaching children (and I’d also add adults) about their family stories: “What children learn when they hear about their past— both the good and the bad… is primarily that they can chart their own course and don’t have to follow the path of what their less-than-stellar ancestors did. They also learn that they are part of something bigger than themselves.”
The article cited research to back this up: a study by Emory University found that “Family stories provide a sense of identity through time, and help children understand who they are in the world.”
Discovering this family story helped me feel part of something bigger than myself, and gave me a sense of identity greater than I had felt previously. Feeling that connection to my great grandmother through similar traumas helped me see my own strength, both in my trauma recovery and in my ability to change unhealthy relationship patterns in my life.
The Emory University study also found additional unexpected benefits of studying family history: Teens who learned more stories about their extended family showed “higher levels of emotional well-being, and also higher levels of identity achievement, even when controlling for general level of family functioning.”
In Ancestry.com’s 2014 global study of over 6,000 Ancestry users, 67% said that “knowing their family history has made them feel wiser as a person.” Additionally, 72% said it “helped them feel closer to older relatives.” (This study was cited in a blog by the New York Public Library entitled “20 Reasons Why You Should Write Your Family History,” which is also a great read). Learning about ancestors clearly has benefits that reach far beyond basic knowledge of the past.
How to Start
A few months ago, I read an idea on an Instagram account (I’m pretty sure it was on @thelisteningearproject, though I could be mistaken) to specifically ask all living grandparents, “What is something you wish you had done when you were younger?” After recording their answers, you could then go and do those things in their place, sharing your memories with them. I decided to finally ask this question when I was home for the holidays this year. While I may not be able to actually complete the unfulfilled dreams of my grandparents (some answers included to go to nursing school, travel to Israel, and buy a horse and ride into the mountains), the prompt opened up new conversations and understanding of my grandparents’ lives. Even my parents were unaware of these parts of my grandparents’ lives. And hey, maybe someday I’ll go to Israel and share that experience with my grandma!
If you want to start asking family members questions and recording their answers (either by writing it down, or recording their voices, which will be so meaningful in and of itself), here is a great list of questions to start with.
One of my favorite lines from the New York Times article is one I’d like to end this article with: “[Culture] comes from lived experience, traditions and stories passed down, from actual people who shape our perceptions of the world.” When we get past the names and dates, we can discover our family, and discover ourselves.
Option #1: Ask a living grandparent the question, “What is something you wish you had done when you were younger?” Record their answer.
Option #2: Create a free account on familysearch.org. Learn something new about your family tree.
Allie Barnes graduated from Brigham Young University with a Bachelor of Science in Family Studies, earned a certificate in Substance Use Disorder Counseling from Utah Valley University, and studied writing throughout her undergraduate career. In every professional role she’s filled since then, her focus remains the same: People.
Find out what your favorite days are comprised of, and start doing more of those things every day. Be intentional about your happiness.
Last year, the New York Times published a beautiful piece (“
