Mental illness is no easy feat. It’s a long battle but it’s so worth it because you and your mental health are worth it. I write this from a place of someone who has her own struggles with mental illness and who loves many people who are struggling with a wide variety of mental illnesses. When I started my mental health journey, I felt so alone and didn’t know where to start. I had friends and family support but I still felt so alone. So today I’m writing to you to tell you 10 things I wish I would have known when I started my own mental health journey.
1. There is always hope.
It’s so easy to fall into feeling hopeless especially in the thick of depression or in the worst days of anxiety when it never seems to ease. It’s easy to want to run and hide and stay in bed for days on end because facing the world seems like a monstrous task. And some days, moving from the bed to the couch is better than nothing at all. It’s okay to feel lost and unsure. One thing that I did to help me have hope was to follow accounts on social media that were uplifting to me including therapists and organizations that focused on health. Some of my favorites include To Write Love On Her Arms, Brene Brown, therapist Tiffany Roe, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
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2. Get educated.
Educate yourself about mental illness especially the one(s) that you may have or have been diagnosed with (Understanding your Diagnosis, 2020). Education is one of the best things you can do to better understand yourself and what you are experiencing. Research can also help you know what may be the most effective treatment for your specific mental illness. As you research, remember that each of us is unique, and someone else’s mental illness (even someone with the same diagnosis) may look a little different than your own.
3. Seek support.
Seek out support from friends and family (Social Support: Getting and Staying Connected, 2020). One of the things that I quickly learned after receiving a soft diagnosis, was that I needed a social support system. The person that stayed at the forefront for me was my mom. She went with me to countless therapy appointments and would lend a listening ear when I was having a bad day or just needed to talk. I also grew to have many other friends whom I knew that I could count on and whom I could reach out to when I needed someone to listen to. Having social support gives you a safe place that you can turn to when you are struggling.
There are so many different kinds of therapy and so many different practitioners that it can be an overwhelming task to find a therapist. There are a couple of places you can start. First, ask around; see if there’s anyone that your friends or family may recommend. Word of mouth can be one of the best ways because many people go to therapy for a wide variety of reasons. Another way to find a therapist is by visiting https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists. On this website, you can type in your zip code and specifics including insurance, preferences, etc., to locate therapists in your area. It’s also another great place to start, especially if you live somewhere where you don’t know the area or what’s available. For more help on choosing a therapist, check out this article here. Also, remember that it’s okay to shop around for therapists! I wish I would have known this so I could have explored all my options and found someone who did more of what I needed.
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5. Let’s talk medicine.
Some people will need medication as part of their treatment plan to help them manage their mental illness and that is okay (Mental Health Medications, 2016). There is NO SHAME in using medication to help. Some mental illnesses are caused by chemical imbalances in the brain, and medications are used to help balance out these chemicals. Throughout the course of treatment, you may have times when you don’t need meds, or you may need them throughout its entirety. Your therapist will often refer you to a psychiatrist who will help you figure out the best options for you, or family practice doctors can help with this as well.
6. Stick to your treatment plan.
It seems weird to say this, but it’s necessary. If that means therapy once a week for you and taking meds daily, stick to it. The more consistent you are, the better off you’ll be. No two people’s treatment plans are the same and so it’s important that you stick with the one that is best for you. Also, don’t be afraid to speak up if it doesn’t seem to be working for you. Part of figuring out a treatment plan is adjusting and trying new things to help you.
7. Get enough sleep.
I can’t say this enough. GET ENOUGH SLEEP. Getting enough sleep is vital to your mental health (Harvard Health Publishing, 2018). Lots of mental illnesses come with a side effect of either having a hard time falling asleep, insomnia, waking disturbances while sleeping, or just wanting to sleep all day, but getting the right amount is important. I found for myself personally that on the days I didn’t get enough sleep, my anxiety was 10,000 times worse. As you go through your journey you’ll learn how much sleep you need and how much is not enough or too much. Be aware that your needs may fluctuate from time to time.
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8. Take care of your body.
I feel like a total hypocrite even writing about this to y’all because it’s one of the things I struggle with the most. Do the best that you can to take care of your physical body (Tartakovsky, 2018). Get moving whether it is having a living room dance party, going for a walk, or playing an active video game – just do something to move your body. Some days it may not happen and that’s okay. Also, do your best to eat food that fuels your body. I’m a big fan of intuitive eating, and for every person that will look different. Check out this article for more info on that subject.
9. Suicidality.
This is definitely one of the things that I wish I had been told about when I began my mental health journey. While you are learning how to deal with your mental health, you may have times when you experience suicidal thoughts or ideation. It doesn’t happen to everyone, but you may experience it. Please please please reach out for help if you are feeling suicidal. I myself have been in that place – it’s dark, and it’s awful, and reaching out was the best thing I did. Reach out to your support system, call your therapist, do whatever it takes. If you don’t have those things you can call 1-800-273-8255 or you can chat online with someone at suicidepreventionlifeline.org. There is also a specific suicide hotline for the LGBTQ+ community through the Trevor Project that you can call at 1-866-488-7386. Please stay with us. You are needed and you are loved.
10. Self-care.
This is something that I didn’t really learn how to do until later on in my mental health journey because at first, I felt like I was in survival mode. Do something to take care of yourself every day whether it’s taking a bubble bath, reading, meditating, just do something to help you take care of yourself. If you want to learn more about self-care check out these articles here, here, and here.
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I hope that something in this letter sticks with you as you go through your mental health journey whether you are in the middle or just beginning. There is no shame in struggling and there is no shame in reaching out for help. You are needed. You are loved. You are worth it.
Love,
A girl who’s been there and is still there.
#endthestigma by sharing your journey with mental illness or share this letter on your social media. You never know who may need it.
Anasteece Smith is a Utah native who is now living it up as a Texas girl. She is the oldest of seven children and married her sweetheart in 2018 who happened to have her same last name. She graduated from Brigham Young University with a Bachelor of Science in Family Life. In her free time, Anasteece likes to read, paint, swim, hike, camp, hammock, and do graphic design. She is passionate about mental health, healthy sexuality, family resilience, feminism, religion, and research on shame, vulnerability, and perfectionism.
#endthestigma by sharing your journey with mental illness or share this letter on your social media. You never know who may need it.
